18 Ways I Dissociated Over Thanksgiving Break

We listen and we don't judge.

Hi hi.

I hope your Thanksgiving was as you wanted it to be, which might mean sitting alone on your couch watching whatever you want and online shopping. I support all choices.

UNLESS THAT CHOICE IS TO NOT SEE WICKED BECAUSE NO I’M NOT OVER IT AND WILL NEVER BE OVER IT. Why deny yourself this joy? I so loved hearing from so many of you who saw it over the past week.

This family is iconic. It’s the “cape” work for me. Teamwork makes the dream work.

I may not have accomplished most of the things I said I was going to do last week, but we are all about giving ourselves grace during these turbulent times—and really all the times¹.

I did what I’d call an obscene amount of adding to cart and paying now. To the point that the shopping post I’ve been working on needs to be held until some of these new items arrive. So far, I regret nothing—but we’ll see once the packages start arriving.

Herein lies how I spent a huge chunk of my time. Dissociating from myriad realities. Please share any recs in the comments because the cold, dark winter of our discontent is only just beginning.

• The New Kendrick Album

Kendrick Lamar surprise dropped GNX on November 22, but I hadn’t given it a full proper listen until this week. Bangers. So many brilliant bangers. Many of which were produced by Jack Antonoff. You know I love this continued crossover between my short petty king and my tall petty queen².

She is me.

The video for “squabble up” is dope.

“tv off” is probably the other song that might have crossed your path even if you’re not chronically online and/or a Kendrick person. Or perhaps you saw something about “mustarrrrrrrrrrrd” and simply felt confused. Well, it’s because of this song.

I love this. Well done, Heinz.

I also especially love “dodger blue”. This one goes out to a very wonderful Dodger-loving family I know and adore who lost someone extremely special this weekend 💙😎

“wacced out murals”

And “heart pt. 6”

Another fantastic crossover situation was bubbling in my corners of the internet.

Sidebar: Drake never fails to do the most Drake shit. This time he missed the memo on this being shining moment for theatre kids everywhere and got big mad at Kendrick once more. This time he’s acting extremely loser-y by filing lawsuits about inflated streaming numbers for “Not Like Us” and defamation. This dork will never get out of is own way.

Drake Wants A Courtroom Drama So Bad

• This new entry into the petty queen canon.

• Zayn’s Tour

Our boy from Bradford is back on stage and looking more confident with every show. This warms my highly therapized elder fangirl heart so much.

@zhenyaloveuproud of you, @Zayn 🥹 #zayn #zaynsttstour #london

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

He’s always had a lot of anxiety about being on stage and it’s really awesome to see him more comfortable now.

And there’s a lovely tribute to Liam each night.

I certainly didn’t have Zayn saying “vas happening?” on a stage in the year of our lord 2024. And if you understand that reference without further explanation, I see you. You’ve come to the right place.

Further explanation (sort of):

Zayn is healing and referencing 1D lore and playing the other lads’ music. Bless.

• Youths Discovering The Sixth Sense

They have no idea what’s coming which is, like, somehow wildly refreshing to me. Talk about a stoner rabbit hole of content.

• We Listen and We Don’t Judge

This was another huge TikTok trend over Thanksgiving. I prefer the mom/children ones to the couple ones which absolutely tracks for me, a person who misses her very sassy mom and abhors dating. There’s a WEALTH of evergreen content awaiting you next time you’re bored scrolling.

I feel like this sort of thing pleases the same part of my brain that Normal Gossip does.

@brookiecookieee4Not judging 🤣

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

• The Meyers Family Thanksgiving Ep

I love when Seth has his family on the show in general, but this ep is always a treat. Below is my favorite part, which validates the not-small obsession I had with Rasputin circa early middle school (and ever since.)

latenightseth

A post shared by @latenightseth

This obviously led to me rewatching Seth’s day drinking ep with his mom.

Then, Rihanna.

And so on…

• Jonny Bailey’s Charm + Also, Thighs

Yes, I’m now calling him Jonny Bailey. No, my intake of content and edits about this man has not slowed since last week. In fact, we’re still in full-on escalation mode.

@jonnybaileystana good human 💛 #jonathanbailey

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

Your dark matter, my flower. Anytime.

Naughty boy. Of course I’ve looked up his sign. Taurus. Scorpio and Taurus are quite the pair.

Mantra.

• Ogling Fashion Crimes Against Humanity

Kalen is the daughter of Colts owner Jim Irsay and very involved in the team’s operations and such, which is great. We love women in sports.

Her outfits are another story, however, and they are always maddening. These shoes are perhaps the worst thing she’s ever worn and I’m assuming they are the thing that Spanx creator Sara Blakely is trying to make happen. Barf.

kalenjackson

A post shared by @kalenjackson

If you didn’t know about the “luxury hybrid heel” called Sneex until now, congrats and I’m sorry for bringing this travesty into your world³.

My London group chat girlies and I have been furious about them for months. They feel like a prank or a fake brand from 30 Rock. Sara is apparently at that point in her wealth and success where nobody is telling her no—and that’s a bad place to be.

Let’s hate on the hideous heeled Balenciaga Croc one more time for good measure while we’re at it.

---

---

• Gearing Up for The Traitors S3⁴

Two words: Boston. Rob.

• Raising My Glass High

In case you haven’t heard, Vanderpump Rules as we’ve always known it is no longer. Bravo announced that VPR will be rebooted with a new group of idiots for season 12. It would seem this new group has not yet been cast, so I guess we’ll see what they come up with. I guess Peter still has a job, though?

peter_madrigal

A post shared by @peter_madrigal

My take:

If they wanted to reboot this show, it should have happened many years ago. I, in fact, was calling for such a thing during those horribly boring seasons before Tom Sandoval decided to fuck Rachel/Raquel. I realize this is a Sliding Doors moment that would have erased the Scandoval, but I do think the show would have had a better chance at a second life. Not a great chance, but a better one.

VPR is too famous and the possible cast is too self-aware of both reality TV and the expectations on this particular show. Just look at how that has fucked up RHONY.

VPR was magic because when it started, they were an actual group of messy ass friends who all really need to work at a cheesy restaurant owned by Lisa Vanderpump. Sure, they wanted to make it in LA but the gross, carpeted WeHo apartments that may or may not have come with a refrigerator⁵ were no facade.

It was lightning in a bottle in so many ways, including the personalities themselves. For a long time, the show was absolute fucking perfection.

Times are different. Reality TV and reality TV fame are different. And VPR itself became too known. I agree that the show could no longer work, but they should have just shut it down.

I also don’t want any of these fools added to The Valley in a regular way. I could maybe (and that’s a hesitant maybe) be convinced about Scheana, but that’s it. I need that middle age dysfunction show back in my life, stat. Until then, we have the memories and the quotes and the gifs and the fights and the pasta and the alley dumpster to keep us going.

I don’t know about you, but I never see a TV hanging on a wall without thinking about how Rob Valetta can hang one in under seven minutes.

Oh, and Kristen’s pregnant. Unfortunately, it’s with that creepy boyfriend of hers who I 100p believe could be a serial killer.

kristendoute

A post shared by @kristendoute

• Apple Goes to Paris

One thing about me is I will always and forever stan Gwyneth Paltrow. I’ve been here since she was doing TV movies with her mom and if she has zero fans, then I am dead. I care not that people hate her. Never forget, I went to Duke. This is nothing to me. In fact, I thrive on it.

I will ride hard for Coldplay in perpetuity, as well⁶.

Chris Martin will always be able to get it and what I would have given for someone to write me a song like “Fix You” after my mom died⁷.

I defended “conscious uncoupling”⁸ like I had coined the term—even though I was devastated by their split.

Here are just a sampling of images of the two that are burned into my brain forevermore.

His commitment to this type of beanie is fantastic.

I think about this white coat at least once a month during the winter.

This love extends to their children, of course. I remember exactly where I was sitting when I learned Apple Blythe Alison Martin’s name and loved it from the jump. This was a wildly unpopular opinion in 2004. And Moses is one of my favorite Coldplay songs ever.

All this is to say that I loooooooooooove that Apple did the deb ball in Paris. I also don’t care that such rich people things still exist, which I know angers some as much as the vagina candle that never smelled like a vagina.

Everything and everyone shouldn’t be relatable!!!!!!!!!!!! Another hill I will die on.

Apple. Is. So. Stunning. (This is not a new thought, ofc.)

I LOVE THIS DRESS. It also has haters. They are wrong, but welcome to their opinions. It’s Alessandro Michele for Valentino. If you’ve been around here for a while, you know he is one of my favorite designers and I will also fight people who disparage him or incorrectly state that he’s doing something un-Valentino at that house.

voguemagazine

A post shared by @voguemagazine

The whole fam was there and I love that for them—and for me.

@parismatchApple Martin, fille de Gwyneth Paltrow et de Chris Martin, est la star du Bal des débutantes ce 30 novembre à Paris. Elle a dansé au bras de son père et de son cavalier, le Comte Leo Henckel von Donnersmarck

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

Blythe looks incredible.

galafr

A post shared by @galafr

Moses is showing his Brit rocker of the ‘90s/aughts genes and it’s fantastic.

• Comics Destroying Hecklers

I watch a lotttttt of comedy stuff on TikTok, including crowd work. Said crowd work can sometimes involve an interaction with a heckler, but this week I’ve been watching so many takedowns on all matter of ill-mannered behavior. Is this how I’m processing the election and not being able to yell at everyone I’d like to? Perhaps.

• Cross (Amazon Prime Video)

Remember Voodoo (Aldis Hodge) from Friday Night Lights? He’s Alex Cross now.

Is this show flawless? Very much no. It’s kind of a mess. The writing needs a lot of work, but the bones are there. As are a number of good performances and characters.

That said, did I fly through the eight eps? Absolutely.

I haven’t read a James Patterson book since his heyday, but from what I gather this story isn’t based on a particular book. The IP is the Cross character/his backstory, but updated and adapted. It’s already renewed for a second season, so maybe they can level it up. I’ll totally watch either way.

• Based on a True Story S2 (Peacock)

The second season of this Kaley Cuoco/Chris Messina true crime satire show is not as fun or clever as its first, but it’s also totally watchable. Would I have been better served by reading a book? Certainly, but that’s not what happened.

Also, I can never see Kaley Cuoco without thinking about how much money she has and yet will never really be A-list.

• Graham Norton clips

I have previously discussed that Graham’s shows are a go-to respite for me on the internet. I go back to this well frequently and happily.

My Blankie, But Make It...a British Chat Show

Here’s a Robbie Williams classic I rewatched last week.

• Who Killed JonBenet Ramsey? (Netflix)

I may be over the Menendez brothers, but the limit does not exist on how much JonBenet content I will consume, including the new Netflix series.

The brother actually used to live around here and my sister-in-law worked at the same company as he did for a while. He is not in the doc. But John Ramsey (the dad) is.

One of my favorite tidbits to throw out that many people don’t know is that John dated Natalee Holloway’s mom for a minute. (Patsy died of cancer back in 2006 and I also can’t believe I didn’t realize until now how pilled up she was in those early interviews.)

• George Finally Doing the “Apple” Dance…and all other manner of Brat tour content from across the pond.

In case you haven’t been hyperfixating on Charli XCX content for months, there’s been a running bit about her fiancé—George Daniel, drummer for The 1975—not doing the viral “Apple” dance⁹. It’s one of my favorite internet side plots from Brat summer/fall/winter.

The dance was integrated into the tour via a fan cam-type situation and look who showed up on it in London. Charli says she didn’t realize it was going to be him and I absolutely believe her. You can kinda hear her laugh in the clips. I have watched every single one that comes into my feed. It tickles this very particular part of my brain just so.

I have also watched a million angles of Charli and Robyn doing “Dancing On My Own”. Truly iconique.

---

Previously on WHN:

we have notes and it's completely different but also still we have notes

---

Charli content really never misses: “They say we got the same hair” also goes for brows.

@kellyconcertsMOTHER🍏 #brattour #bratmanchester #charlixcxmanchester #charlixcxtour #applecharlixcx #appledance #charlixcxconcert

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

I was extremely bummed I couldn’t make it to the Sweat tour, but Brat 2025 pit is already secured.

• Being Mad at Jacob Elordi’s Hair Situation

I hate everything about what is happening on his head and on his face. But it also might not be incredibly far off from…something I’d actually like. Which in turn infuriates me more.

Does he think it’s giving this Paul? It’s not.

Until next time, here’s a perfect TikTok comment I happened upon. Yes, I screenshot TikTok comments without knowing what I’m going to do with them. Suspect is a Scorpio, after all.

xA

1. LOL, of course I’ve also been internally torturing myself about what didn’t happen, based on decisions I solely made.

2. Taylor Alison Swift, natch.

3. I’m not sorry. I need you all to share my disgust and outrage.

4. It premieres January 9 on Peacock.

5. This is a thing in some LA rentals. It blew my mind the first time I moved there.

6. I’m digging their new album, Moon Music, by the way. I’m such an old Coldplay head, but this one is sticking for me more than anything they’ve put out in a minute.

7. If you don’t know, he wrote it for GP after her beloved father, Bruce, died.

8. Gwyneth never claimed she came up with it either, btw. And look how lovely it all seems to have worked out for their family. SO THERE.

9. Even I can fully do this one. Bless.