Just Whipped Cream, But Only If It's Real

Harry + Sally + the Super Bowl? That darkkkkk RHONY finale. Oscar noms. Severance. Opus. Kate Hudson. Yellowjackets + more.

Hi hi hi.

Welp, it’s still January.

What a slog.

This is why we need our [insert entertainment-adjacent dissociative tool of the day here]. Or, you know, a sliver of lively cultural discourse that doesn’t feel toxic or high stakes. I would implore you once more to get into The Traitors if you’re not already. It fits this bill so nicely.

Plus, now I have so many young Boston Rob edits on my FYP. Bless. This man is a fantastic representative of a very specific corner of my sexuality.

On the more bookish end, we’ve got Severance back in our lives after three years. The first two episodes definitely do not disappoint.

I’m sure we’ll talk about the happenings in and outside of Lumon over the course of the season, but there are many, many people doing fabulous close reads on various aspects of this brilliant work way better than I could. Thank god this show is weekly so we can all take in the content about the content. Like the olden days!

If you want to go deeper every week, I would point you to Vulture where they have super smart recaps, along with posts about the making of that new corporate video, the production design of the creepy ass office, or what an IRL manager thinks of Lumon’s workplace culture. (You can sign up for their Severance Club here if you’d like it all served up to your inbox.)

My friends Heather and Jessica have a great breakdown of where we stood after the first season and will be doing some continuing coverage over on

Drinks With Broads

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Severence: Where We Left Them, and WTF Is Happening

Who else is watching?!?

While we’re on the subject of people I love who also happen to make great content, my grief camp BFF/fellow member of the Dead Moms Club/genius creator,

Robyn Delmonte

just launched her Substack, Girlbosstown—which is also her handle on TikTok and IG. (And a big welcome to new WHN subscribers from the GBT community! I’m very glad you’re here + I hope you have fun.)

Rob is very much my younger pop culture obsessive twin flame, but also one of the handful of people on the planet who I can be completely and totally vulnerable with. We will never have trouble matching each other’s freak, fangirl or otherwise—and we will always go out dancing¹.

Or at the very least, to the show…where we will dance.

Case in point: HSLOT MSG N10, September 2022.

So, yeah, you should all subscribe and get inside my girl’s wicked creative brain.

THE MORNING SCROLL

I love her so and am INSANELY proud of all of her accomplishments.

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Okay, let’s just jump into what else was on my mind and my screens this week.

Name ‘Em

I don’t have a ton of super passionate Oscars opinions this year and I still need to see a number of the contenders. But ICYMI, the noms were announced this week.

It sorta feels like things played out, for the most part, the way people who are experts in such matters expected. I’m psyched for Demi, natch. Jules, you made it off the edge!!! I also feel like there’s not enough lighthearted chatter about how Substance-adjacent it is (thematically) that Margaret Qualley’s mom—Andie McDowell—is in St. Elmo’s Fire, too. Obviously, Dale Biberman and Jules Van Patten aren’t really involved in each other’s stories, but hopefully my gist has been gotten.

Other things I’m into: Kendall v. Roman, a trans Best Actress nominee, Ari + Cynthia, Carter Baizen, Max from Better Things.

I’m sure the film bros would like us to be happy one woman, Coralie Fargeat (The Substance), was nominated. She totally deserved it but it’s all still bullshit.

However, I’m most feisty over Challengers being snubbed for Original Score. What the fuck are you talking about, Academy????

I was not one of those people who ever thought the movie (which I looooooooved) was going to score a bunch of noms in the big categories, but I fully believed this was a sure thing for Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch. Deservedly so. It propels the movie in such a visceral, cool way.

I would also say, “Justice for ‘Harper and Will Go West’”, the song Kristen Wiig wrote and performs at the end of Will & Harper. It is everything a movie song should be and is truly wonderful and funny and emotional, just like the doc. But I had no real expectation that it would ever make the final cut, especially after it felt like there wasn’t a big campaign behind it.

Anyway, the awards are March 2.

New York, New York, a Helluva Town

Not that you’d know that by watching the current iteration of RHONY. Jesus, that was a fucking darkkkkkkk finale. My friend Jessica said something to the effect of well good thing they rebooted this entire franchise² to make it lighter and more fun. Exactly. So we got one of the darkest episodes ever on the second season of a show that a lot of Bravo people already are very meh on—and a not small number fully hated before this whole thing.

If this already makes no sense to you, congrats.

(Trigger Warning: Mention of sexual assault)

Here’s what I’ll say.

First, I absolutely, in no way, think Brynn is lying about her assault. Not once did I doubt that and it would seem neither did the other women in the cast.

That said, her claiming Ubah knew about what happened and still chose to sling a sexually-charged insult at her (more on this in a sec), only to switch gears after everything exploded and retract it like, oh wait maybe she didn’t was the culmination of behavior she has exhibited all season. But seriously way more fucked up.

People are screaming and sobbing and some left to go to a hotel and there was no more fourth wall and the trip got cut short. Like, it was bonkers. And very uncomfortable and upsetting to watch.

I have been seriously irritated by Brynn her all season long, interspersed with moments of real empathy and compassion. She was twisting words and truths in the most ridiculous ways, while being extremely high on her own supply.

I looked back to see what I said about her at the beginning of the season when I wrote about the show.

Brynn: She is doing way too much with the pot stirring in a very obvious manner. Plus, her coquette schtick is so tired. It’s giving “dumb myself down” pick-me and that is always a hard pass for me. I didn’t like it last season and I really hate it now. But I do love her new apartment and she remains stunningly beautiful.

Welp, there you go.

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THE REST OF THE EARLY SEASON RHONY CAST NOTES:

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Her eerily calm demeanor the next morning was one of the more upsetting things to me. It was, frankly, chilling. Of course, I don’t know this woman, but it didn’t sit well.

Clearly, Brynn has been through a lot of trauma over the course of her life and that’s awful. It feels like maybe some of her behaviors on this show over the first two seasons stem from coping mechanisms she’s had to develop to survive and thrive in ways she might not even realize. That doesn’t excuse a grown ass adult from anything, but it doesn’t feel completely out of the realm of possibility given the things she’s shared and what we’ve seen.

Brynn did an interview with Rolling Stone that came out the morning after the finale and she very much thinks she’s done nothing wrong. I just don’t see them bringing her back and I think maybe reality TV isn’t the right thing for her right now. I hope she gets whatever she does need.

Now, Ubah was a different kind of mess for me this season. Brynn was certainly poking her all season long in really obnoxious ways. That must have been exhausting, but she has way too many oversized reactions (and not just toward Brynn) that I really can’t remember if she did anything fun.

Here’s what I said about Ubah early in the season:

Ubah: Gorgeous. Boring. Thinks she’s funnier than she is. I feel like a lot of people ride for Ubah and I just don’t get it. She’s extremely…fine, as far as Housewives go. That said, it appears like she is going to bring the heat at some point so I reserve the right to fully negate my own statements later.

So, she wasn’t boring. But she wasn’t good TV either. Saying maybe Brynn slept with someone to get her job was in fact offensive and out of line. Full stop. She might not have known about Brynn’s assault, but she absolutely knew that Brynn was dealing with gross gossip about being a kept woman and such. And regardless, it’s a gross shitty thing to say about and/or to someone.

There was so much more nonsense and bullshit this season too. To me, it wasn’t fun or love-to-hate Housewives fodder. I don’t think Ubah seems like she wants to be on this show all that much either.

Anyway, I don’t think either of these women are horrible people, but I was ready to say byeeeeeee to both before this finale chaos. My mind has certainly not changed.

To end on a positive, how incredible was it when Boring Scientologist Becky Minkoff³ walked in to try to give them food and everyone was like GTFO like they were teens and she was some horribly lame parent coming into the room. The disdain! Priceless!

We’re Seated

The theater employees are scared and asking us to leave because none of these are out yet and some aren’t even in theaters, but we’re simply too seated…

• OPUS

Um, has anything ever been more targeted at this many of my interests? What sorcery is this, A24?!?

A young writer (Ayo Edebiri!!!) travels to the remote compound of a legendary pop star (John Malkkovich!!!) who mysteriously disappeared 30 years ago. Surrounded by a cult of sycophants and intoxicated journalists, she soon finds herself in the middle of his twisted plan.

It’s premiering at Sundance and will be out for us plebes on March 14.

• Running Point (Netflix)

Mindy Kaling, Ike Barinholtz, David Stassen, and Elaine Ko created this show which comes out on February 27. Here’s the logline: “A reformed party girl must prove herself as a businesswoman when she's unexpectedly put in charge of her family's pro basketball team.”

Kate Hudson plays said reformed party girl and this feels like exactly the right space for her. I’m fine with a lot of spaces for her, as long as Linda Perry is not involved⁴.

I am prepared to be delighted.

mindykaling

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• Harry and Sally together again

Meg Ryan posted this on Wednesday evening:

“It’s finally happening, we’re reuniting for something iconic. Can’t wait to show you all soon 💙”

megryan

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Once you realize it’s likely a Super Bowl ad⁵, where does your head go first? I went dating app, but I saw someone online posit UberEats and that would totally work, too.

I will happily have whatever they’re having. I don’t need the menu first.

• Yellowjackets S3

God damn, I can’t wait to have these perfectly unhinged lunatics and glorious needle drops back in my life. The first two eps drop on Valentine’s Day.

In case you aren’t aware, Hilary Swank is joining the cast this season and much like Kate Hudson in Running Point, this choice feels exactly right for her in 2025—and the show in general.

• Rushmere, Mumford & Sons

The new album drops on March 28 and the title track is out now. I love it and would still like to one day attend a boozy dinner party at Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford’s home in the English countryside.

mumfordandsons

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Gen X Moment of Zen

The Beasties on Hangin’ with MTV in 1992. Man, I miss Yauch. I miss them. I miss performances like this.

unifiedgoods

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Also:

Oh, and…

Josh Lyman + CJ Cregg are reuniting on The Diplomat. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land—to eat while doing The Jackal! … Tim Riggins, I will love you forever … Scheana Shay “wrote” a book before me, so that’s a thing that happened. Also, how does Brock feel that she still used Mike Shay’s last name? It seems like something that big lug wouldn’t be super okay with … I will never be over this AI Brad Pitt scam … One thing I’m always going to do is watch a Keke Palmer highlight reel … ICYMI ranked the latest Instagram updates … Yes, Dave Franco knows everyone thinks he should play Luigi … I promise Tarte was not a publicly dramatic brand when it first launched. The OG Cheek Stain is forever in my makeup bag, though … LOL to the SNL sketch about getting men to go to the doctor by making their appointment seem like they’re guesting on a podcast.

Until next time, here’s a clip of Phantom Planet doing “California” at a wildfires fundraiser at The Troubadour. I fully cried watching it. As the news cycle moves on, let’s not forget that LA is going to need help and support for a long time to come.

xA

1. The same way I will always use this quote from Singles.

2. For the non-Bravo addicts among us, they recast the entire show from top to bottom.

3. Jenna always messing up her name was also a real treat.

4. I never really got into my thoughts on Kate’s album here, did I?

5. This time of year can get as annoying as April Fool’s. Every time you are like huh? or see some cool revival like this, you’re almost duped by a marketing tease for a SB ad. Sigh. I miss when you didn’t know anything until an ad aired.