'Tis the Damn Season

Blake Lively. The Substance. Kennedy Center Honors. Emmet Otter. Timmy's delightful Dylan press tour. Valentino Pre-Fall. My latest joy-filled TikTok hyperfixation. What to watch over break + more.

Hi hi hi.

Happy Wintering Day to all who celebrate.

Or a Festivus for the rest of us.

Or Eve of the Eve. God, we used to go SO HARD on this night in the days of yore.

Or just plain old December 23rd.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

It would seem that a number of people should be when it comes to Blake Lively.

The biggest entertainment news of the past few days is, of course, the legal filing (a precursor to a full-on lawsuit) by Blake against her It Ends With Us director/co-star Justin Baldoni, the film’s lead producer Jamey Heath, Wayfarer Studios (co-owned by Baldoni and Heath), and a number of PR operatives allegedly hired to orchestrate an online smear campaign to take her down. You can read the full statement denying the allegations from his legal team here.

If you have not read the original NYT piece by Megan Twohey (of taking Harvey Weinstein down/#MeToo/She Said fame), Mike McIntire, and Julie Tate do not pass go, do not collect $200, just click here—it’s a gift subscription —and read. Unless you don’t care about any of this at all, in which case, carry on.

But if you’re planning to partake in any dialogue about this situation over the holidays, POP CULTURE MEDIA LITERACY MATTERS. We are in a major moment for me to leave it all on one of the many hills I will die on.

I don’t want to dive into every corner of this complicated conversation, but I think there are a couple undeniable (to me and hopefully other rational people) truths I feel important to state first:

• Many, many things can be true at once. WHN is fundamentally grounded in multitudes being contained. In people, in situations, in nuanced critical thinking.

• Internalized misogyny is real and none of us are immune to its bullshit.

As I’m sure you remember, the press junket for It Ends With Us was fraught, basically from the beginning, when it became pretty clear that there was some kind of divide between most of the cast and Justin Baldoni. A lot of opinions were flying around the internet about why and who did what, etc, etc.

It would have been hard to miss if you spend time online or pay attention to any sort of pop culture coverage. Blake Lively is super famous in her own right, and also happens to have a super famous husband (Ryan Reynolds) and a super famous BFF (Taylor Swift). Plus, this was the adaptation of a super famous book from an author, Colleen Hoover, who has both a huge loyal following, and a lot of people who find her work problematic.

Full disclosure: I’ve never read a Colleen Hoover book and I have not watched this movie.

Here’s some of what I wrote back in August:

Now, I have always⁷ been publicly on the record as someone who thinks Ryan Reynolds is not as funny as he thinks he is/fairly insufferable because of that + also a cartoon version of a handsome man. But I don’t think he’s a bad guy or whatever.

And I like Blake in general, though I do think Leighton Meester should have had the bigger career coming out of Gossip Girl. I love both Traveling Pants movies dearly and I go hard in the paint for The Age of Adaline and A Simple Favor. I’d rather not talk about her accent in The Town.

They are both good friends OF Taylor’s, but they also appear to be good friends TO her—which is lovely. Genuinely. She is the godmother to their children and the three oldest girls have their names immortalized in “Betty”⁸. Plus, that sweet baby voice at the beginning of “Gorgeous”⁹ is Blake and Ryan’s eldest daughter, James.

Right now, these two are everywhere—more than usual. He is promoting the new Deadpool and all his other businesses and she is promoting It Ends With Us and her non-alcoholic sparkling mixers or whatever Betty Buzz is pretending to be, along with launching a new haircare line called Blake Brown, which we’ll get into in a minute.

I had a number of notes on the haircare line, the Vogue cover, the unfunny schtick of some of the his and hers cross-promotion¹, and Blake’s questionable styling choices. I pulled in some TikToks discussing the situation, noting that I had not been invested in this project and was just getting curious about the fact that something was going on.

There was the mention (by Blake herself) that Ryan had rewritten a scene and I posited that I could see a scenario where that doesn’t go over well. And also that the narratives playing out with “sources” in various tabloids needed to be taken with a grain of salt.

Whatever is going on, it’s messy and sounds like it’s about to get messier? The movie is tracking to make at least $45M this weekend, so it’s certainly not doing anything harmful to the bottom line.

You can take a look back here (paywall is removed if you’re a free subscriber!)

The Rise of the Midwest Princess

But the public sentiment shifted pretty quickly to pro-Justin and anti-Blake.

Given the text messages subpoenaed as part of her court filing, it looks like that might have happened (at least in part) due to a smear campaign allegedly masterminded by this woman Melissa Nathan (who was hired by Johnny Depp in his legal battles with Amber Heard), with some (alleged) assistance from another publicist named Jennifer Abel (who I totally followed as soon as I read the story and was surprised to learn still had a public IG account), and some other hired hand named Jed who I kept imagining as a dude in his basement with tons of computers running trollbots that invaded comments sections to help frame Blake as a tone-deaf, mean girl, bully, whiny “victim.”

Now, did Blake have a number of self-owns during the cycle that contributed to dings to her image? Absolutely.

It’s tough to promote a movie about domestic violence with “grab your girlfriends and wear florals” energy like it was the fun communal experience of The Eras Tour film. Was she a little short in an old interview clip? Yes, but who among us hasn’t snapped at somebody at work after a long day for whatever reason? Why that clip was released when it was is now being called into question, too. Did she and Ryan get married on what was once a plantation? Yes. No caveats on that. They did it. I won’t argue with anyone who finds that deeply offensive.

But being tone deaf in the promotion of your film and maybe a lil bit of a bitch sometimes doesn’t mean you can’t be sexually harassed or retaliated against for raising those issues. Or that you’re automatically a total garbage person (because nothing can be nuanced on the internet). Which is what Blake and her legal team state throughout their court filing and is all laid out quite clearly in the Times article.

There is a documented meeting that happened before the movie started filming again after the strike to address complaints Blake had made about Baldoni + Heath’s behavior on the set, as outlined in the NYT. This list is filled with some gross stuff and there is nobody out here saying the meeting didn’t happen.

You can find Blake Lively to be the most annoying person on the planet, but that doesn’t change the fact that she shouldn’t have had to endure any of this (alleged) shit. The birth scene claims really set me off. Cool, cool, cool you’re mansplaining childbirth to a woman who has HAD FOUR CHILDREN? You’re gonna bring your best friend in to play the OB/GYN out of nowhere? Also this man should absolutely keep her dead father’s name out of his mouth.

I can admit that when I first saw a headline about a sexual harassment lawsuit on TMZ, I did a bit of a deep sigh and had a flashing thought of “Ugh, she’s probably going to be annoying about this.” There’s that internalized misogyny I was talking about. We are all susceptible to it. I thought TMZ simply had the news because they know the second a court document is filed. But I realized I needed to check myself either way.

What I didn’t do was put that thought out on the internet and instead went about my Saturday errands and regular mani appointment, which is when I realized there was a long, reported story with many a detail. Once I read that, I was like, “Well, this is some damning shit.”

The text messages Justin Baldoni sent to his publicists, like the one where he suggests the type of stories they need and it’s about how Hailey Bieber is a bully, were so gross. WME has since dropped Baldoni as a client.

These were subpoenaed messages—not, like, grabbed from DeuxMoi or random Twitter account. The NYT vetted all of this like the actual journalists they are.

I mean, how do these women sleep at night when this is how they earn a living? It’s not that I haven’t been aware of opps and smear campaigns, but seeing how these two are talking is so ick.

While Blake was getting dunked on all over the internet in the late summer, people were giving Justin Baldoni the feminist hero treatment, and like literal (if made-up) awards. It’s now giving me Finchie² in all those podcast interviews about being a cancer survivor in Anatomy of Lies. It really goes to show how easily we’ll believe nasty things about a woman.

Dip into any of the thousands of comments sections about this matter and you’ll find proof of why so many women people please, suppress their own opinions and discomfort, or choose not report literal harassment on the job. Because this is what will probably happen. And whether or not one likes Blake Lively should not be a factor.

This is the problem with the “perfect victim” mentality. Or pretending like you know the truth about someone based on some things you “heard” on the internet.

But there are all kinds of people reading clickbait headlines and listening to people on TikTok who have literally ZERO information. Yep, we’re back to my broken business model of media and lack of media literacy Ted Talk. It’s maddening and we are watching it in real time—about a story that alleges the manipulation of opinions in just this way IS THE POINT.

Um, maybe you “just don’t like her” because algorithms and comments sections were strategically manipulated and boosted to make you feel that way. Or maybe that validated the way you were already leaning, pushing you to standing more certain in your negative opinion.

As I like to say, virality does not equal veracity. Sadly, too many people take something that’s been seen a bunch of times as fact. That’s not to say anyone knows all the facts right now, but there is some real fucking damning evidence thus far against one side. And people are out here in these internet streets adamantly stating they know things they don’t and their backup is, “I heard that…” When really it’s some random TikTok account’s comments section. Or the TikTok accounts with tons of followers who claim to know how the industry works when they have no fucking clue…but people just believe them anyway.

Just a few of the things I’ve muttered at my phone while scrolling and taking in the discourse:

• There are SO many kinds of producers on a movie. The title can mean everything from “we gave this to you ‘cause we had to but it’s just a vanity thing” to “yes I’m one of the bigwigs here.” Please don’t act like Blake had all-encompassing power about major decisions when you actually know nothing about how that was set up on this project. I don’t either! We weren’t there! But you’re also telling on yourself in thinking studio politics and roles are that clearcut.

• Yeah, if this can happen to someone as A-list as Blake Lively, imagine how actresses without boldface names and tons of resources might feel in a similar circumstance.

• How did these publicists put so much of this stuff in writing even when saying they shouldn’t put certain things in writing??????

• YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE HER BUT ALSO WHY ARE YOU SO PRESSED ABOUT BLAKE LIVELY IN GENERAL?

• Um, yeah it takes a minute to subpoena records, get access to all that you’ve asked for, and then put it together into a proper claim. And to suss out what might have been happening online. Everything is not immediate. Again, please think for two seconds about how things work or at the very least do a cursory Google.

• The New York Times is not an operative in a counter-smear campaign by Blake and Ryan. Meghan Twohey is a real journalist.

• The rest of the cast was not fucking with this guy either and maybe we should have paid more attention to that.

• These publicists recognized that they didn’t really want to incite with the Swiftie fandom and yet did so anyway³. Perhaps they didn’t think enough about Tree Paine behind the scenes.

• I don’t want all my famous people to be relatable.

• Why are we acting like someone being a little bitchy is a crime and that most of us aren’t guilty of it too?

• I was always correct to go hard for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

• Any Swiftie who is under the impression they are owed a statement on this from Taylor should STFU immediately. Grass, it should be touched.

• I wish my class was in session right now because this story is so layered and interesting. What seemed like silly discussions about a Hollywood feud were actually so much more—and once again, pop culture offers a lens to larger issues and conversations about our society.

• This is a great example of the importance of thinking about WHY any piece of content exists and what it’s trying to do. That is not to say that everything has a nefarious origin. Sweet lord, everything is not a conspiracy. But just consider the context and the source before planting your flag in someone’s belief system.

• OPEN THE SCHOOLS. JESUS CHRIST.

Okay, I shall stop. Obviously, we don’t know anything for certain right now. But that evidence is certainly not nothing.

I’ll leave it at, it’s okay to have empathy for people who are beautiful and rich, too. Those things don’t necessarily protect you from being fucked over by egotistical men, even ones who seem like “good guys”. It’s not okay to only believe women who aren’t “annoying” to you. Maybe think about what’s actually “annoying” about them while you’re at it—and what has shaped that opinion for you. That’s something I try to at least be self-aware of, even if my annoyance or ire remains.

And for god’s sake, save those conversations about who really does bug the fuck out of you for the group chat. What do you think I do?!?!

VIBE SHIFT!!! It is the holidays after all.

All Along the Watchlist

I truly hope you are going to get to essentially rot for the next couple of weeks. For me, that means taking in a LOT of shows and movies. I have so many projects both home and creative I want to get organized on, but we’ll see how that goes.

Here’s what I’ve watched lately and then what’s on my to-do list.

The Kennedy Center Honors (Paramount+)

These just aired last night and while they are always wonderful, this year contained so much Abby-coded goodness: the Grateful Dead, Maggie Rogers, Queen Latifah doing Shakedown Street, Bonnie Raitt, Emmylou Harris, David Letterman, Dave Matthews, Chloe Sevigny, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Francis Ford Coppola, The Apollo, Brandi Carlile, Sheryl Crow, Sturgill Simpson, and so much more.

Here are just a few of the clips I loved, but you should def stream the show.

dmbgc

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Virgin River (Netflix, S6 is now streaming)

I forget every season of this ridiculous show immediately after watching the final ep, but I love the joy and comfort it brings me when a new one is available. I’m halfway through the new drop as I type.

Subservience (Netflix)

I wish I could tell you this wannabe Ex Machina meets M3GAN meets The Hand That Rocks the Cradle starring Megan Fox and that guy who was in those toxic relationship 365 Days movies (that I totally watched)/an episode of The Kardashians where they awk try to push him on Khloe was a good-bad movie. Alas, it’s just bad-bad.

Our Little Secret (Netflix)

Lindsay Lohan’s new face is working well with her new career path and this pleases me greatly. Honestly, who among the small group of us watching her Oprah-produced doc series years ago would have thought we’d get here, starring in corny (in a good way) holiday films with OG Galinda and Ezra from Pretty Little Liars? Not me, that’s for sure.

The Substance (in theaters, streaming on MUBI, or rent on Amazon Prime Video/AppleTV+)

500 years late, I saw the movie that might get Demi Moore an Oscar nom—and it would be very well deserved, in my opinion. Gwyneth’s too.

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Sidebar: How do I get in on this weird and compelling blunt rotation?

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The general description, because you really need to just see it in all its super-stylized glory:

A fading celebrity takes a black-market drug: a cell-replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better version of herself.

Margaret Qualley and Dennis Quaid are great, too.

I’ve now finally been able to dig into all the commentary around this film, which has been a nerdy good time for me. As a Halloween-born lover of things dark and disgusting—this movie is very much my speed. If you haven’t seen it and don’t know, it’s absolutely not for the faint of heart when it comes to gore. This is absurdist body horror (complimentary). If you can’t do Cronenberg⁴, you definitely can’t do The Substance.

To me, this is high level execution in taking on big ideas and putting them through a bonkers lens to make points and start conversations.

I often feel like I’m in a battle with myself about physical aging, in that I very much want to look younger than I am (within reason) and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about how I choose to do that. I also don’t give a damn what anyone else chooses to do or not do. You don’t want to color your hair? Fab! I love that for you. I will probably never stop. I love that for me. Our bodies, our choices. In all the ways.

There’s a part of me that absolutely doesn’t want to broadcast my age anymore. But then I feel like part of the problem, in that younger people should realize that certain numbers don’t equal decrepit old crones. However, there’s also still the way women are viewed in society as they get older, which is of course at the core of this film, and there are still very real consequences (albeit grossly unfair ones) to how someone else (like at your job) might judge the number attached to you. At once you’re more comfortable with yourself than you’ve ever been, but the world finds new ways to break you down.

I truly believe age is just a number. But not everyone in our society does. GAH. Being a woman IS fucking impossible.

The Kings of Tupelo: A Southern Crime Saga (Netflix)

I had no idea what I was getting into with this docuseries and it’s a RIDE. Hilarious, weird, disturbing. These two main yahoos were giving me Brock Landers and Chest Rockwell from Boogie Nights by the end. I very much enjoyed it.

Carry-On (Netflix)

I was just telling someone this morning that this is a great “we just want something entertaining that everyone will watch” sort of movie. I mean, it’s not a family film for little ones, but you get my drift. You watch it, are entertained, and then move on with your life.

I must say that the our main guy Ethan here was absolutely giving me young Robert Patrick meets Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Am I wrong??? I think it’s also when I realized I really don’t have a singular thought about Taron Egerton, to the point that I don’t really know what his face looks like. Jason Bateman stans will want to get involved with this one, too.

Juror #2 (Max)

This (essentially) courtroom drama is directed by Clint Eastwood and stars Nicholas Hoult, Toni Collette, Zoey Deutch, Chris Messina, Kiefer Sutherland, Leslie Bibb, and JK Simmons. There’s a big old moral dilemma for Hoult’s character after he gets picked for a jury. It was…fine. But nowhere near as exciting as some of our best trial-driven thrillers.

Here’s what’s on the holiday break list, screen-wise:

First, I need to make sure you are all aware that Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is streaming on Peacock.

This is one of the best Christmas specials ever made. A true favorite that lives deep in my soul. I still own it on DVD and used to have the VHS. We CANNOT let this one get lost to time. And you don’t need to celebrate Christmas to enjoy it!!

IT IS ON US, GEN X + ELDER MILLENNIALS.

The youths must learn the words to such classics as “Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub”, “Our World/Brothers”, and “Riverbottom Nightmare Band”.

• Conclave (now streaming on Peacock)

I’m beyond late on so many of these, too. I knowwwwwwwwww.

• Anora (theaters or $19.99 on Apple/Amazon)

• Babygirl (theaters)

My kind of holiday movie! Even though murmurs are it might not be great.

• The Last Showgirl (theaters, 1/10)

Tech after break, for those of us not in LA/NY for earlier screenings. But still on the list.

• Laid (Peacock, who is apparently killing it for my personal demo rn)

• A Complete Unknown (theaters, 12/25)

Joyscrolling

I came in hot, so let’s head off into the next few days with things that truly delighted me of late.

• Timmy’s Dylan Press Tour

As I said on Stories the other day, if I made you a mix tape in the ‘90s the probability of it containing a Dylan song was also in the ‘90s. Super popular opinion: Bob Dylan is really important to me. So I’ve been invested in A Complete Unknown for years now. I find Timothée Chalamet to generally be a charmer and a talent. But he’s taken it next level with this brilliantly-crafted press tour that’s taken him from College GameDay to a former Road Ruler’s pod. Lil Timmy Tim is crushing at every turn.

Let me also enter into the record that the TC lookalike contest (where he popped up) was the singular time it was fun and funny. All the others are embarrassing and should have never occurred. This must stop.

Highlights from the road:

Top tier comment from TikTok:

Yes, that’s Theo from Road Rules in the year 2000. Were we ever so young?? Every clip from their convo is a GD gem.

• See also: Tom Holland

nicholasgrimshaw

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• Riri at Mimi

• The Travel Show of Dreams

These Brits captivated many corners of TikTok and what an absolutely fucking joyful way to hyperfixate for a few days with the other chronically-onlines. They were in NYC for the first time and vlogged their journeys of eating up American food.

Enjoy and know there’s much more over on the clock app if you get hooked like I did.

• Valentino Pre-Fall

Come to me, pretties. I already have scenarios to wear much of Alessandro’s latest. Now I just need the funding.

From the moodboard in my head:

The tee and glasses and tights and hair and facial expression are a hard yes. Peplums are not typically great for the un-waisted like myself. But I’d try it on, for sure. Same goes for the shoe. It looks perfect. However, I do not really do this kind of heel in the current era of my life.

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Abby’s Version: Lose the blouse, hat, and bag. Throw on a vintage tee with that skirt + a ‘70s platform boot. Or a sneaker for when I want to do the tights.

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More layers. More patterns. More for me to love. And…I need to try some frames like this. I’m itching for new tattoos + glasses currently.

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Every element of this styling is perfection and I will be trying to emulate it somehow, some way. Also, Brenda Walsh would have been so down.

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We are not interested in that hat (though great color!) and the shoes look great, but are less me at this moment in time. But this is the sort of mixing and matching I’ve been playing around with tights-wise and I love the pattern and silhouette of this dress.

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I would love to wear this to the very extravagant second (or third) wedding of a couple who would appreciate this level of darkness, detailing, and main character energy.

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I absolutely want to wear this to school next semester⁵.

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She’s a fancy Band Aid and would raise hell if somebody tried to sell her to Humble Pie for $50 and a case of beer⁶.

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That mini would fit in nicely in my growing denim skirt collection.

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No notes. I feel like this would look great at an HS4 One Night Only. Hint, hint universe, Jeff Azoff, and Harry Edward Styles ✨

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I realize that this collection is a specific cup of tea, but it’s one I would drink all day every day. Also, you can make any of these pieces the focal point of a subtler styling look.

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Each of these pieces is exquisite and I would absolutely love to be this quirkily riche.

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You obviously wear this to stand on a hill in a cemetery watching a funeral from afar, creating chaos as everyone wonders who that stranger is.

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This is a bit more ladylike than is my norm, so for me it’s probably a no on the blouse—but everything else is pretty fantastic. Yes, that includes the gloves.

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Absolutely, yes.

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I am triggered by skinny scarves like so many of us who were of a going-out age in the aughts. But this one is allowed. Why am I suddenly imagining variations of this suit on me and the Haims when they finally make me an honorary sister:?

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• Taylor Swift, Eldest Daughter

She’s gonna see things through and go that extra step (or 10).

@msnaya11#virallllllllllllllllllllllllll #viral #fypage #trending #fy #fypシ #fyp #nayajade #msnaya11 #taylorswift #traviskelce #cheifs

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• Grease 2 holiday decor

• Joey B

Truly anything he does makes my day, but specifically in this moment it’s buying samurai swords for his O-line for Christmas.

• Preparing to Hate Watch And Just Like That

In case you need a refresher on how much I fucking hate Aidan.

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Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah if those are things you do! And cheers to all who don’t, too! I’m so grateful for all of you and this mighty lil community of ours.

This time of year can be hard for a million reasons, but I know that loss can often feel more present around now—whether it’s your first, 11th, or 40th holiday season without someone. I get it and I’m around if you need a friend. Or a distraction.

I find that making my mom’s Party Mix every year brings both distracts me and gives me comfort, while keeping me close to her and the memories of all the Christmases we DID get to have together. It’s a whole eldest daughter operation at my place during this time of year and this has become one of my love languages.

Whatever things big or small that offer you any reprieve or comfort or joy should be an automatic yes. You do what you need to do to get through and if this time of year SUCKS, just know it will be over soon.

Until next time, here’s bebe Phoebe Bridgers covering “River”. Because melancholy is not a bad word around here. ESPECIALLY when it’s the damn season.

xA

1. With the latest Deadpool movie starring Ryan and Hugh Jackman.

2. The Grey’s Anatomy writer who lied about having cancer, among MANY other things.

3. The fact that there’s a Scooter Braun connection is so funny to me (not ha-ha, just like HEH!)

4. You have no idea how hard I geeked out when he guest-starred on Alias.

5. It took me less than one second to clock that as the shirt Harry wore to the runway show.

6. Kate Hudson has never been better than she is in this scene. It’s perfect.