we have notes and it's completely different but also still we have notes
we have notes and it's completely different but also still we have notes
housewives. tell me lies. flo + andrew. brat remix favorites. haylor. a dolphin named bill. timmy as bob. babygirl. doctor odyssey. north west + lots more.
Hi hi hi.
Wait, this hit your inbox on a Friday? Like the days of yore.
I think I’ve gotten myself back to the space where the busier I am, the more productive I get. Thank god. Maybe I just needed that wisp of crisp in the air that’s finally started to appear here. Though I would like just a tad more fall in my fall, thank you very much. This is my favorite season and the one I think of as more of a reboot than whatever goes down as of January 1. And it’s not just because it’s the season of my birth.
But get ready…Scorpio season is coming. You know we’ve NEVER aspired to be humble.
Let’s just get right into it, shall we?
It’s a Gallimaufry-non
The second assignment I gave my students this semester1 was to read a bit of this here Substack and write a listicle about at least five takeaways about me and the brand, as it were, that went beyond, “she’s obsessed with Taylor Swift and Harry Styles and spends way too much money on concerts.” (Their first was putting together a lil deck/Keynote/Powerpoint telling me something about themselves through the lens of pop culture—that also went beyond the surface.) To say they really SAW me is an understatement 🥹.
Anyway, one described WHN as a gallimaufry2 and it delighted me to no end. I love that word and had not thought of it in so long. It’s a perfect description of this space in general, but also the rambling list of things—some connected, some not—that entered my brain space this week.
Children of Divorce Unite
As someone who was working from home for quite some time before 2020—and generally loves it—I must say that it is very fun for someone who loves clothes as much as I do to have somewhere to wear a daytime outfit at least a couple days a week.
That also gives me even more rationale for shopping as much as I do. (I’ll probably do another post about stuff I’ve bought soon, as that seemed to be a hit with a bunch of folks.) All my lil academia fits are in a highlight on my IG should you care, though really like most things, it serves as a visual journal for my own viewing pleasure in the future. I love the DMs though. I’m a bit of a narcissist, after all.
I did promise a backstory about Wednesday’s look to anyone who might care, and a backstory I shall provide. Not that I wouldn’t wear this Haylor shirt anywhere on any given day…because I’m me.
So, as mentioned last week, my friend Sophie joined class this week to talk about her work for Everytown as the Senior Director of Culture and Entertainment Advocacy. She was excellent, as I knew she would be. And I think we all learned a lot about another aspect of storytelling through the lens of pop culture.
We actually met through the tall blonde lady’s fandom last year in Nashville, ahead of the second night of the Eras tour. Long story short(er), Sophie was in a Swiftie group chat with my friend Ashleigh and a crew that had been connected since back when they were supposed to go to Loverfest together, before a global pandemic got in the way. Some of them knew each other IRL, others did not. I actually ended up with my ticket for that night’s show through that very group chat. It was another whole friend of a friend thing. (I’m still trying to manifest more of that magic for Indy in a couple weeks ✨✨✨.)
As I said to Ashleigh, “There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.”
My ticket was in a different spot than this crew, but we were all going to pre-party + do an early dinner together before the show at Ashleigh’s friend Abigail’s house. Sophie just so happened to answer the door when we arrived, saw my Child of Divorce shirt and said, “I have that on a sweatshirt.”
BOOM. Instant friendship.
Sidebar: Sorry to those who know this because you’re card carrying members of the Coven of Psychos, or you’ve just read it here too many times, but Children of Divorce is a fandom name for those of us who are both Harries and Swifties.
Please never ask me how many times I’ve watched this video. Numbies are not recognized here.
I soon learned she had actually worked on the very well-executed partnership between Love On Tour and Everytown.
So, when talking about her speaking to class we decided we had to have a Child of Divorce shirt moment.
She brought hers to the Zoom + I built an entire outfit (that I ended up being kinda obsessed with) around mine. The universe agreed it was all on point because this came on Sirius during the drive to Bloomington.
And the new season of Normal Gossip kicked off that very morning with an extremely me-coded episode that involved fan/fanfic culture.
Sophie and I also happened to be in London for Taylor in August and both (separately) went to the same Saturday night show. We met up for drinks across the pond and watched the livestream of the final Wembley show together in a bar, which led to making friends with a couple other Americans who noticed us watching.
I LOVE FANDOMS. You can never guess who they might bring into your life. Merch can lead you to awesome places, people. Know. This.
Sidebar: Yes, I’m aware that there are segments of Swifties and Harries who think one of them is dropping something on October 18th. There is no solid proof to this at all as of publication. Dates were dropped by anonymous prognosticator accounts and DeuxMoi (re: Harry) and none of that is real evidence for the media literate. They have all also said multiple other dates before and been absolutely wrong. Just simply about HS4, let alone all the other stuff they post about.
It also came out that Joe Jonas and Shawn Mendes were moving their release dates from 10/18, which is anecdotal at best.
I still think we’re activated and H is going to announce the new album before the end of the year. And of course it’s possible that he’ll surprise drop a single, but that’s never been his rollout pattern in the past. My god, remember the sweet, beautiful agony of You Are Home? Or all the fun he had with the Fine Line billboards and then Eroda?
Some Swifties are clowning over the various things us Swifties clown about (ahem, Rep TV) and the 18th is the first show back for the last leg of Eras. There are 18 shows left which Taylor Nation mentioned the other day, etc etc etc. Now if she wants to admit that Woodvale was real and drop that….
I will never leave my Woodvale Truther sub-sub-sub-cult.
I mean, DUH, I’d be thrilled if either of them released something. But mostly I’m just annoyed that so many people fall for everything all the time these days.
I’ll stop now.
I Can See You, Hollywood Reporter
Earlier this week, Feeding America announced that Taylor made a $5 million donation to help hurricane victims. This is fantastic news. Full stop. But of course with any wealthy celebrity (but especially Taylor and a handful of others), there’s the “that’s like me giving a penny” comment crowd.
When I saw THR’s post about it, I was immediately struck by the language in the first sentence and took a screenshot because I thought it was shady.
I was like, they’re either being unnecessarily rude or they’re engagement-baiting to get a fight going in the comments. I guess I’ll never know. But I just went to look at it again Friday afternoon and they edited the opening.
It was just unnecessary for a news outlet to get snarky like that. I would have said the same about non-Taylors they negged like that too.
In all seriousness, though, I hope any of you affected by the recent storms are doing okay and know that people are thinking of you around these parts. If there’s anything we can do, let me know and we’ll try to help as best we can.
It’s What’s Inside
I am desperately trying to get caught up with all the things I need to watch3 and also satiate my seasonal need for all things horror-adjacent. Though, honestly, that’s a year-long situation. There is no bad time for darkness as far as I’m concerned.
I watched this one on Netflix the other night and I shall not give anything major away as it’s rather new to the platform. Here’s the deal: A group of college friends gets together on the weekend of one of their weddings which of course means old relationship wounds and friend drama and all that come with them. The spin is that one of the crew (who got expelled for something that factors in later) brings his latest tech-bro invention: a box that allows them to change bodies.
Hence the It’s What’s Inside title.
Body swapping is not new to the horror genre, of course, but this felt like a modern twist. It’s got some good moments and commentary on the way we live now, but I wish it had delivered more on the promise of the premise.
Only Murders in the Building
I still love this delightful show, but I must admit I’m not as invested in this season’s murder mystery as I’ve been in the past. I think that’s a me thing as opposed to a show thing though. I always enjoy the recaps over on
wherein I pick up on things I missed because I wasn’t paying the right amount of attention.
Doctor Odyssey
Speaking of my friends Heather and Jessica of GFY + DWB, I got to see their lovely faces yesterday when we recorded a conversation for my class to watch next week. They shared so much amazingness and I’m so grateful.
We kept ourselves (mostly) on topic and sadly did not get to dive into a discussion about Pacey’s new show, Doctor Odyssey.
They’ve also been covering this show on their Substack and I am fully aligned with Heather’s thinking that everyone on this boat might be dead/in a purgatory of sorts. But also that the whole thing is “banal and bland” after the first two episodes. It would be very Ryan Murphy to take a concept that could be weird and interesting and have great talent…then fuck it up somehow.
I want more for Pacey creatively, but I’m glad he’s getting a network paycheck. Let’s hope they make it absolutely ridiculous like my beloved 911 shows4. I truly love network TV and I want it to make a big comeback for a million reasons. Vulture rounded up the season’s new offerings if you’d like to help make that happen.
Hot Rabbi and the shiksa is returning for a second season.
Surprising zero people, Nobody Wants This was renewed. But they’re bringing Jenni Konner (of Girls and Camping and Single Drunk Female fame) and Bruce Eric Kaplan (who also worked on Girls) in as showrunners. Erin Foster will stay on as a writer and EP, per The Hollywood Reporter.
Is this perhaps a reaction to the conversations around the one-note, stereotypical Jewish female characters on the show?
No.
One former heartthrob (for others, NEVER for me) that I need not see again is Chad Michael Murray. Yet, here he is.
Industry
I didn’t discuss the third season of Industry much here, but I did enjoy it.
The second season was a real banger and this one didn’t quite live up to it—and I’m not sure where they’re going to go now that they’re renewed for another season. But I’ll be watching just as I’ve done since it premiered.
Just a reminder that you need not understand anything about banking or finance to get into Industry. I feel like it’s actually a perfect fall/winter watch.
RHONY
Okay, we’re now two eps into the second season of the cast reboot and here are my quick thoughts on each lady, as of now. I really hope the cold open teaser we got of them filming the intros lives up to my expectations, in terms of the fight that eventually goes down during the latter part of the season.
Jenna Fucking Lyons: I was not one of those people who felt like Jenna wasn’t sharing enough last season. I thought she was being very much herself, which is just not the way most of these lunatics (complimentary) behave on Bravo. I love her in all the ways and continue to so far this season. But yes it is random that her girlfriend’s mom appeared on the show but her girlfriend, the amazing photographer Cass Bird, is not likely to.
Brynn: She is doing way too much with the pot stirring in a very obvious manner. Plus, her coquette schtick is so tired. It’s giving “dumb myself down” pick-me and that is always a hard pass for me. I didn’t like it last season and I really hate it now. But I do love her new apartment and she remains stunningly beautiful.
Erin: Oh, she found a way to suck even more than last season. I mean that in a way that is very valuable to the show. I’m glad she’s here, but would not like to socialize with her in any way IRL. Erin is so fucking humorless, but I also need to know more about these financial woes that have Abe selling off their bitcoin behind her back. Fundamentally, I understand why she’s pissed but I can’t stop LOLing at the blockchain of it all because of course these two went all in on that. And I’m truly sorry that her mother has cancer5 but she is definitely tending toward making that her entire personality, which…ugh.
Ubah: Gorgeous. Boring. Thinks she’s funnier than she is. I feel like a lot of people ride for Ubah and I just don’t get it. She’s extremely…fine, as far as Housewives go. That said, it appears like she is going to bring the heat at some point so I reserve the right to fully negate my own statements later.
Sai: Somebody really didn’t like how much everyone realized she SUCKED last season. They’re all so self-aware on this franchise and I get it, but it doesn’t always make for a good Bravo show. The way she thinks she’s an important fashion person is…something. I honestly would have replaced her after the first season.
Jessel: My queen. We continue to stan. Though she does give credence to all the chatter about how she moved to NYC just for the show when she says dumb shit like she’s only ridden the subway twice. She thinks that makes her sound posh, but it just further establishes her as an outsider. Real New Yorkers take the subway, ma’am. I am glad Pavit is pursuing his food influencer dreams, but will need him to step off of Elon Musk’s jock.
Raquel: I’m intrigued. She’s gorgeous and smart and connected in ways that actually DO feel very NYC. Plus, it’s great to have another cool queer woman in the mix. And a non-white one at that. I want to know more.
ETA: Omg how did I forget to add my Rebecca Minkoff thoughts??? Popping this in Saturday morning. OOPS!
Becky Minkoff: First, ew Becky. Having worked in magazines and fashion and whatnot during her peak era I know who Rebecca Minkoff is. I can’t think that we’ve ever been introduced and I never interviewed her. But I’m very familiar with her and her Scientology. Because I’m also longtime obsessed with that cult. Anyway, Google around if you’re not familiar with her whole thing, including her dad, David. It’s obvious completely insane that she thought she could come on this show and be like “no comment” “read about it” regarding her religion. Sis, we HAVE read about it and watched a lot of docs. That’s why we have questions. Anyway, we’ll see how this goes but I’d rather just not with her in general.
RHOP
Potomac is also back and thank god our Bravo drought is over. I still have a lot of concerns about this franchise, which was once the funniest and my absolute favorite city.
First, that opening scene recreating Karen’s DUI was super weird. The vibes were awful and the tone was deaf. I don’t understand what the typically brilliant editing team was going for there. They also didn’t do anything like that with Shannon on the OC, or so I gather because I’ve actually never been a RHOC watcher. And the paternity stuff around Mia and G and her new/old boyfriend feels icky too. Like, that’s a KID.
I don’t miss Robyn, but I do miss Candiace—even though I think it was good for her to step away for a bit. I don’t have a good read on our newbies yet, either.
The first couple episodes are giving “we don’t have a lot this season” but I hope I’m wrong like how I was about The Valley after that trailer dropped. The trailer (above) actually has more oomph, so we’ll see…
RHOSLC
We’re already spinning our wheels on the same old storylines just a few weeks into Salt Lake, but they have a big Jeopardy moment this week.
Tell Me Lies
This show makes me feel like I’m inside a well-written, horny Wattpad or AO3 story6 and I love it. After WISHES it was this. I don’t know anyone who watches this show who doesn’t enjoy its soapy sexiness immensely. Also, banger needle drops.
Does anyone else just substitute Anna Kendrick in for Bree (the one getting married in our flash forwards, but who is fucking the professor currently) in their heads? They are so of the same font to me. Now we’ve got fake Shailene Woodley (Lucky) and fake Anna Kendrick (Bree) starring in this show (Abby’s Version).
Martha, Martha, Martha!
I cannot wait to watch this doc.
FP + AG = Really Good Press Chem
On the heels of a another charming blonde/brunette co-star duo, Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield are out and about being delightful on their junket for We Live In Time.
It’s the polar opposite of the Don’t Worry Darling drama of 2022. Thank god. Do you think the DWD publicists look at all these clips and think about what could have been?
Listen, it’s going to take all I have to survive another press tour where Olivia Wilde tells us how cool she is because she’s down to fuck and understands female pleasure with pseudo-intellectual word salad that sounds like it’s from the white feminist/girlboss internet of 2011—which was a hellish period to live through in general for so many of us7.
Anyway, Florence and Andrew obviously got along great and I will be going to see this movie that will certainly make me ugly cry.
I do love me some Wired auto-complete vids.
At long last, Amelia and Andrew Garfield will have their Chicken Shop Date next week. YAY.
Many of us have indeed been waiting a long time for this one.
Menendez Mania
I have tried twice to get into Monsters and I’m just like, “This is bad and not in a way I want to watch.” I’m glad so many of you had fun with it, but I’m not going back a third time I do stan youngs discovering Milli Vanilli, the music, and the lore.
I did watch the Netflix doc and also didn’t find it all that intriguing. I guess I just…don’t care about the Menendez brothers anymore? Which just means I cross that off the list of places to invest my time as Kim K and TikTok work to get them some form of clemency.
Short n Sweet
I’d much rather spend my time watching TikToks of Sabrina Carpenter’s tour. Judge me as you wish, but it looks like a real good time. I’m super bummed that the timing didn’t work out for me to get to a show around here, since she didn’t come to Indy.
Back on BurrowTok
Did someone say horny content? Oh. Just me. Anyway, thank you to my FYP for getting itself situated squarely back in sexy Joe Burrow edits. He is also the current QB1 for the Red Lip Classics. We lost by a mere fucking point two weeks ago, but that wasn’t Joey B’s fault.
This edit feels like a custom play drawn up just for me.
Um. Yes this will do.
Previously on WHN: Your Guide to Being Horny for Joe Burrow
“In the Living Room”
That’s the name of the song and MV Maggie Rogers dropped this week as she kicked off the arena leg of her tour. I saw her this summer and it was AMAZING. As is this song, which Gary G also gives his stamp of approval. He’s been stanning since I sent him show clips I took from the pit.
I immediately thought “Fiona Apple” when I saw the aesthetic of the video and Maggie named her as one of the inspirations.
Let’s Work It Out on the Remix
The brat remix album is out today and it’s fucking great. I think it’s been fairly obvious that I love original brat too, even though I’m not generally super into club music. Even back when I was more of a 365 party girl.
We already had three of these songs before the new drop and each one has been in heavy rotation, though Troye is def below Lorde and Billie.
The remixes dive deeper into vulnerabilities and insecurities, often in relation to fame—which I should have realized after what we got with “Girl, So Confusing” and the internet going crazy. I love the depth mixed with the dance.
My current faves (in no particular order) of the songs we just got at midnight are…well, I guess the first one is my #1. But the rest can shuffle around.
“I might say something stupid” with The 1975 and Jon Hopkins
We know I go hard for Matty and the band, which includes Charli’s fiancé George. As I said on IG, I wasn’t expecting A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships vibes, but that’s what we got and I LOVE. Vulnerable Matty will always pierce my heart8. But seriously, this song is heartbreaking and gorge.
“I think about it all the time” with Bon Iver
Ghost-synth call and repeat with Justin Vernon? Sign me up.
“Everything is romantic” with Caroline Polachek
More drama is always good from my POV.
“Mean girls” with Julian Casablancas
I am also a sucker for a petulant Stroke.
“Apple” with The Japanese House
I’m already a low-key stan of Japanese House and this song, so I knew I would love whatever they came up with. If you haven’t listened to other Japanese House tunes, I highly recommend. Amber’s way more my overall musical vibe than Charli usually is.
I think that all tracks for me, but every single track is great and really brings something new to the song and the sound. Ari is fab. Tinashe. Shygirl. You can’t go wrong. It’s a really impressive album in both concept and execution.
Witching Hour
I’m so so so so so excited for Ariana + Stevie on SNL. If you don’t know how brilliant Ari9 is at sketch comedy, get thee to some clips. And Stevie is…Stevie.
Stormi remains the #1 member of the family.
Period.
But North just landed on the cover of Interview, in conversation with her mom.
Kimberly, please show her Out of this World.
Virgin River is back on December 19. Bless.
Domination’s the Name of the Game
I will never be over that I—along with my friends Meg, Maggie, and Carrie—did a dance for a middle school talent show to “Master and Servant” by Depeche Mode. LOL. Bless that the video is lost to time, but I believe we were wearing biker shirts and oversized white tees.
Anyway, Babygirl is certainly looking like my kind of holiday movie, from A24 and the most booked and busy actress in Hollywood.
How Does It Feel?
Honestly, I’m not sure quite what to think of Timmy’s Dylan yet.
Is Jen Affleck (the Mormon one) Still Legally Bound to a Gambling Addict?
The people need to know—and the “mystery” deepens. I need her away from that blonde sociopath Zac, but I bet she’s still with him. Sigh.
Separately, I really really feel compelled to big sister/eldest daughter Layla. I want to help you, sweet repressed youth.
(Soda) Pop Girlies
I think I mentioned that Swig, the soda place where the Mormon wives buy their insane drinks is opening locations here in Indy. I don’t believe the Northside one is open yet, but the one south of downtown is and I need to find someone to do a version of this Lexie Hull + Caitlin Clark vid with me.
The Life and Times of Dolphin “Beeel”
What TikTok saga did you get sucked into this week, Abby? Well, I’m so glad you asked. It was about a dolphin named Bill and one of the most underrated reality stars of our time, Aimee from Floribama Shore—who is looking fabulous. I didn’t immediately realize it was her when the video of her tracking Dolphin Bill during Milton popped in my feed. But I was like, I KNOW THAT VOICE and clocked her by midway through the clip. I was hooked by it all. Including her accent saying “Beeel” for Bill.
Pure entertainment right here.
Ick Me Once
I just cannot and that’s all I will say about any of the below.
Gen X Moment of Zen
Can we all do a group rewatch of one of my favorite movies ever, The Legend of Billie Jean. FAIR IS FAIR.
Oh, and…
I meant to put this in last week, but I was so sad to hear that Drake Hogestyn, an iconic star of Days of Our Lives, died of pancreatic cancer. I grew up on Days and remember when he first appeared as The Pawn who was actually Roman and then they like retconned the story to make him John Black. His deep nose breathing acting style is burned in my brain for eternity. RIP, sir. … Let’s go Duke! I’m so ready for college hoops season … Jessica Chastain should maybe post less … A Kate Moss capsule is coming to Zara. Who remembers the TopShop collections????
Until next week, let us remember a more fashionable time when Blondie nailed it with a plaid + chunky boot combo. Unlike what happened on Monday night. Bleachella 4EVA.
xA
I’m not sure I will ever get over the whole professor of it all.
A gallimaufry is a hodgepodge, a medley, a confused jumble. Its origins come from a 1500s French word for a meat stew or sauce.
I really need to fucking see The Substance. GAH.
I need to catch up on the new season of LA disasters that nobody remembers by the next week’s ep this weekend.
Her father died after they were done filming this season and I am also very sorry for that. It sucks.
Yes, they exist. Don’t be rude like that. And IYKYK.
In case you’ve (blessedly) missed it, the very much not #1 Olivia is filming a Gregg Araki movie called I Want Your Sex which was described this way in Variety:
When fresh-faced Elliot lands an exciting job for renowned artist, icon and provocateur Erika Tracy (Wilde), his fantasies come true as Erika taps him to become her sexual muse. But Elliot soon finds himself out of his depth as Erika takes him on a journey more profound than he ever could have imagined, into a world of sex, obsession, power, betrayal and murder.
And Taylor Swift’s. I would love to hear her inner monologue as she listens. Or, well, anytime. But you know what I mean.
That brown JW Anderson dress is perfection on her in the promos.
It was so good to see your face this week and I agree with all your Housewives takes. I kind of wish this season was just Jenna Lyons showing us stuff in her closet. (She doesn’t need to strong arm her MIL into joining!) - J
Out of this World! Legend of Billie Jean! We have very parallel viewing histories.