TTPD Countdown: The Agenda
We've waited many a fortnight, but now The Tortured Poets Department's time draws nigh.
Hi.
It’s almost time.
We are mere hours away from the release of The Tortured Poets Department and I want to throw up. “Why am I like this? Never change” is the common refrain at these moments.
I did indeed get some mild sedation this morning by way of nitrous at the dentist and it might have made the crown and the filling worth it. Maybe?
I could use more now. Where’s a spare whippet when a girl needs one?
Programming note: My plan is to get you all a non-Taylor’s Version Friday post as planned and then hit you with all the TTPD coverage over the weekend, as I gather my wits and words about me. Thanks to all who’ve read all my extra (in more ways than one) Taylor stuff this week. lt means so much, as does knowing that those of you who hated it, just let it ride. That, too, is a major kindness.
In following the Chairman’s lead, I hereby call this meeting-before-the-meeting to order. And look, it IS an email.
PURPOSE OF MEETING:
To pass the time until midnight when we shall be blessed with an entire new Taylor Alison Swift album in our earholes.
To catch up on what we know to date, feel at home with all any sense of mania and SwAnxiety among a department of your unwell (complimentary) peers.
To study us Tortured Poets in the anthropological sense because you’re like WTF is going on with you all. You know, whatever suits.
TO BRING1:
an open mind and unhinged, obsessive thoughts
talismans, charms, and snacks (My friends get me and so does Taylor. Thus, we’re keeping this line item from TN’s post.)
media literacy
critical thinking skills
red lipstick
big feelings
clear eyes + full hearts + immaculate vibes
(optional) TTPD aesthetic + attire
I’m having dinner with my dad, brother, and sister-in-law tonight2 and obviously have planned a fit accordingly.
This is Abby’s Version. The angst is strong in this one, as is her love of academia and words. She never liked cloves though. Just bring her the Camels and be done with it.
It just so happens that the new spot we’re trying (Commission Row for my Indy people!) is right across from Gainbridge Fieldhouse, home of the Pacers and the Fever.
Tonight, one Mr. Tim McGraw is playing there. Tell me that’s not some Swiftian kismet. Tim is also a Caitlin Clark stan, so it’s really allllllllll working this week.
Well done, Indianapolis + the universe + witch shit.
When you think Tim McGraw…
DISCUSSION TOPICS
All the news + TTPD-themed missives you may have overlooked (slash avoided) this week from WHNHQ
The 2 PM announcement was that the first single will indeed be “Fortnight” with Post Malone. Yes, I took a screenshot at 0:13 seconds left because of course I did. We’ll get the song at midnight with the rest of the album (it’s track 1) and the video tomorrow at 8 pm ET.
Yes, I bought the CD single because of course I did.
Yes, I timed my cold plunge yesterday to be 13:31 because of course I did3.
Taylor’s thoughts on Postie, who is truly crushing the collabs in 2024. This dude is operating on the highest of vibrations.
I don’t think we’re done with the 2s though. What about you???
The Apple Music message is—as many guessed—about a post mortem. Buckle up, babies.
This new lyric: “Come one, come all. It’s happening again.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
How about a mid-meeting break with some niche English major/asylum humor? I say yes. Let ‘em know, sis. Let ‘em know. These are just facts.
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Diana of Ephesus. Look her up if you haven’t already.
Your favorite poets—contemporary and historical.
The number of Diet Cokes I will consume tomorrow
How Caitlin Clark is SO getting the “22” hat one night during the Indy run in November and it’s going to blow the roof off Lucas Oil Stadium. I can’t wait.
How fucking insane my new tarot deck is. It (and my growing powers4????) legit hasn’t MISSED since I opened it up and charged it during the eclipse.
For example, this morning I did a one-card pull around the question of whether TTPD was going to change my life emotionally, spiritually, professionally, or otherwise? This is what I got.
Then I did a simple three-card pull signifying before, during, and after listening to TTPD.
That’s two Major Arcana cards.
Before TTPD:
During TTPD:
After TTPD:
I died dead.
Sidebar: My nails (unintentionally) sorta match Hailey Bieber’s and that pleases me greatly.
Tree’s WSJ article. It’s a write-around because of course she didn’t give an interview. If you’re as deep in the fandom as I am, I’m not sure there will be much in there you don’t already know all too well. But if you’re not, I’m sure you’ll learn some things about this genius redhead. I did get one new morsel of new info for myself and that’s that Tree and I are Pi Phi sisters. North Carolina Beta here, TP.
The Tavi ‘zine. I have had zero bandwidth to properly read any of it (here it is for you all!), but I will at some point and we shall discuss further. As I said in a comment on an earlier post: “So, I actually don’t ever read Taylor fanfic…it’s not my bag. However, I have always loved Tavi since she was wee and ofc remember their more public facing times back in the Tumblr era. It was all very NYC. So, my feelings are…mixed, but intrigued. Probably more mixed because of how dumb people will react to it??? Because Tavi is a true talent.”
Rob Sheffield’s new book. I cannot wait for this one from my fellow Gen X Harrie + Swiftie, who is also an all-around beautiful writer.
If you haven’t read Rob’s book Love Is a Mix Tape, do so immediately. It’s gorgeous. And, yes, I read it well before this photo. But this photo made me real happy.
Okay, hopefully this will get you through til midnight—or tomorrow morning, for those who behave in less dysregulated manners than I.
I’ll be up and will surely be posting some quick reactions on IG Stories and who knows where else. I can’t wait to dive into this album with all of you who are as excited as I am.
As I said, there will be a Friday post tomorrow with lots of pop culture fun that is not Swift-related and I’ll get fullllllllll notes on TTPD to you this weekend. Promise.
See you on the other side. Meeting adjourned.
xA
Yes, I moved the order on this. I apologize to my blonde mother, but it makes more sense here.
Please keep my poor family in your thoughts. JK. Sort of. They understand and are typically amused, but they’ve never seen this exact pre-release version up close. My brother did witness me at premium fangirl unhinged while I was watching the final HSLOT show ever from a shaky livestream on my phone at the lakehouse where I was pinging from dancing to singing to sobbing at any given moment.
Help????
They’re burning all the witches even if you’re not one…so you might as well join the coven.
I can’t wait to read your thoughts on the album, and I’m glad you’re taking your time about it, I’m sick of everyone’s hot takes! It’s a beast, I definitely have needed time to sit with it.