In Praise of Hotties with Buzzcuts

Harry Styles is the latest entry into a beautiful club that includes Brad, Becks, Zayn, Riggins, Natalie, Miss Flo + many more.

Hi hi hi.

I’m in an absolute state (well, more so than usual), so who even knows what is about to be typed by these hands?!?

I was planning to send different midweek post when poof!, we got the first official image of a certain British Fruit Witch with his new buzzcut dropped onto the World Wide Web late in the afternoon on Wednesday.

Obviously, this needed breaking news-type coverage from WHNHQ. When the muse calls and all that.

My vibe in that moment was like Poehler’s in this fantastic Mad Men SNL sketch. I use, “Let’s get me out of this skirt” so often in conversations—even though the reference is likely lost on most.

I am happy to say I was extremely correct last week when I said the cut was hot. Period.

Once I got a better look, I saw the vision clearly—and knew I needed to get into the history of hotties with buzzcuts here. Which we’ll do in a second after a bit of discussion about H’s new look, now that we have more than just this to go on.

Here he is. Hi, Harry.

It’s striking. It giving a new attitude, but not a total reinvention. It feels like a moment, not a full-on life change. It’s making me extremely excited about whatever music he’s writing and recording for HS4 right now. But it is indeed, “Oh, fuck you Harry” hot. He’s such a GD menace. Throw in that making this kind of decision simply ooooooooozes confidence, upping the hot hot heat.

It was A Lot™ for many members of the Coven of Psychos. Witches, you know where to reach me if you need.

Harry’s brand, Pleasing, is launching their first foray into fragrance this week, along with a bunch of new merch—including the sweater he’s wearing. This is the promo image (shot by lloyddddddddddddddddd!) that they very smartly dropped just ahead of the collections going live in the online store on Thursday.

Here’s where I went immediately thereafter:

INT. ABBY’S UNWELL BRAIN - 3 MINUTES POST-PHOTO REVEAL

“This man is more daddy than baby, but le bebe is present too. He is an intense, passionate artist who still has a twinkle in his eye. He has a darkness that is magnetic, but won’t hurt you. Unless you want him to. A little bit. When you’re in the mood. He’ll do some coke with you, brush the side of your chest, and then choke you with a sea view¹. But we’re not talking a view from Malibu. It’s somewhere with a more haunting vibe. Might you also get some action from a ghost—American Horror Story-style—while there? Who can say.

He’s reading so many books, but isn’t obnoxious about discussing them with you. Like, he listens and never mansplains and doesn’t have only one genre he’s into. He loves smut². But watches The Notebook when he can’t sleep and cries every time. He’s still a consent king, but whatever unspeakable things I want—um, one wants him to do—he’s game for and has some ideas to throw into the mix. He will break a finger knocking on your bedroom door, get splinters in his knuckles crawling across the floor³, and smells like hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect⁴. But he kept all his clippy clips so you can borrow them until he needs them again. He still feels compelled to run his hand through his phantom hair. He giggles when he tries to look menacing for too long, but…”

Okay, I should stop now before I take it WAY too far.⁵

Needless to say, I’m in. Very in.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t want the floppy curls back some day. I do. I love them madly and that hair is high-key magical. I’m not even saying I like it better, just different. Because this new look is also IT.

Multitudes, contained. Truths, there are many.

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PREVIOUSLY ON WHN: 122 THINGS I’LL MISS ABOUT LOVE ON TOUR

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Let us all level set by recalling that this isn’t even Harry’s first big hair shock. Everyone survived the ponytail chop and the end of LHH, aka Long Hair Harry.

Separately, his hair grows SO fast. Clippy will be back one day.

And just think: As soon as he decides to grow it back (and he will), we’re going to be gifted with so many delicious growing out phases.

Imagine the possibilities…

Lastly, even if you can’t find a way to use your eyeballs correctly and see that he looks good…remember his words and you’ll be alriiiiiiiiiiiiiightttttt.

Another issue here is that I think maybe the youngs (and not-so-youngs) who are freakinggggggg out aren’t properly grasping the larger vision. And, perhaps, don’t have/are forgetting the historical context of the formative buzzcut hotties who have come before Harry.

Of course, this moment led me to TikTok within minutes, where many well above the average age for that app also saw what I saw.

@wehavenotesTrust the process + the elder fangirls who have come before you. #harrystyles #harrystylesbuzzcut #bradpitt #davidbeckham #buzzcut #harries #baldrry #hairtok #2000s #genxtiktokers #genx #pleasing #genxharries #greenscreen #hs4 #hslot

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Are you a person who would prefer a Reel? Here you go. I aim to please across generations.

abbycgardner

A post shared by @abbycgardner

My friend Allie had the most correct response when I apologized for not replying right away so we could spiral together over this new photo. I was indeed over on TikTok, natch, just like my fellow kids 😉. But lord knows I have to take to my bed often, too.

So, let’s turn this manic energy of mine into a teaching moment/nostalgic reminiscing exercise and look back at some of the fine humans who mastered the buzzzzzzz and, in some cases, altered our DNA.