I Told Ya
On being right about Taylor's (awesome) presidential endorsement + (ughhhhhh) VMAs look. Plus: Beyoncé, Chappell, the Styles fam, bonkers Mormon moms, The Perfect Couple dance + more.
Hi hi hi.
I hope your weekend is as lovely as possible. It feels like life is whipping by at a rapid pace right now and it’s very much messing with my head in a way that is neither good nor bad, but simply discombobulating.
But as established in a post for paid subscribers earlier this week, I would like to have as little to do with numbies as possible at all times. As with all paid posts, there’s a preview available for everyone.
A Bunch of Stuff I Bought Lately—Because What's a Budget?
I don't know her. Plus, a silly new lil shopping-adjacent perk for paid subscribers.
Welcome to all the new friends who’ve joined us, many by way of one of my favorite spots on the internet, run by two of my favorite people: Go Fug Yourself. I hope you’ll stick around the little haven of pop culture insanity (mine, not yours) in any capacity, paid or not.
I didn’t want to gatekeep this jewelry either, so I’m dropping this bit from the paid post in, as well. It also gives me a nice lil segue into the next section—not that I’m afraid of a hard pivot. We know this all too well.
Sidebar: I may have been wearing my own signature red lip before Blondie knew what lipstick was, but I love that we share this beauty trait. If you’d like to check out some other Taylor-themed accessories, Metalmark (aka the best jewelry store in my fair city, and surrounding areas) has some amazing options for you that range in price from around $100-$350. You can DM my girl Jessica Dinwiddie on IG (@jessica_metalmarkfinejewelry) or email her at jessica@themetalmarkhouse.com to see more or place an order. You know I already have like 13 things I want.
Now onto more about the tall blonde woman I love, even if I don’t love her current boyfriend or fashion choices.
1, 2, 3…Let’s Vote, Bitch!
Let’s start with the stellar Taylor news: A perfectly timed and executed endorsement of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
Ummmmmmm…
Let me quote myself from this very platform on July 27th in a post titled “The Loudest Woman This Town Has Ever Seen”:
I absolutely think she will endorse Kamala, just as she endorsed the Biden/Harris ticket in 2020. I do think that matters very much.
I know people are antsy for her to do it right away, but let us remember that Madame Vice President is not yet the official nominee until the convention. And that there is a strategy to endorsements and the timing of those announcements—in many cases, at least. It’s one thing to get all the Dems in government lined up and publicly endorsing right away—and well done by all who made that happen. That was huge and necessary as we head into the convention.
I was imagining Josh Lyman running around locking shit down. I hope all those staffers were served the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
But we also need to keep momentum and excitement and donations and positive press cycles going. There are a TON of powerful people and celebrities who have not yet publicly endorsed the VP.
Hell, they just rolled out Barack and Michelle this morning and the call happened earlier in the week.
Let’s not get our progressive panties in a twist, okay? Okay. If there are criticisms to be made later, I promise I will make them myself.
As I said on my Stories that night, “I knew she would do it and I’m glad that it’s done.” I did not want to keep hearing or having this conversation. Much like her post about Vienna, there was big “let me be clear” energy about how she is voting. While I’m sure there will be people who say she didn’t go far enough, I was very happy with it. She will never not be a person who triggers big feelings on all sides, about issues serious or trivial and everything in between.
The sign off was *chef’s kiss* perfection. Writers gonna write write write write write…
I hope it made JD Vance pee a little bit in his pants.
Listen, I’ve never believed that a celebrity endorsement moves the needle in a significant way on literal votes. But it does influence a media cycle, fundraising, and at least has the capability to drive traffic to a registration site. Plus, to a large swath of Taylor’s fans (me very much included), it mattered. A lot. And not because we had any doubt who were personally voting for.
That’s very much not nothing.
As I said last week, it also isn’t like the most heroic thing ever. Let’s all keep our wits about us over on this side of the internet.
The timing of the post was also *chef’s kiss* perfection and my mind has not changed about how I think it likely went down. I believe there have been conversations for weeks (at least) between the campaign and Tree/Taylor—and if they were happening before Vienna, I’m sure that fucked with timing and possible plans too. Said discussions weren’t happening because they had to convince her to vote for Kamala or endorse, but more when and how. How they landed here we’ll likely never know, but everybody was READY. Both teams have proven they’re really fucking good at marketing and PR and driving conversations.
It worked on many levels—and for everyone. I think that in case the Vice President didn’t perform as the campaign hoped she would at the debate, Taylor would still be a story that could carpet the outlets as a Win for Harris/Walz. Or, as actually happened, it went out after Kamala thrashed that moron and felt like leap from the top rope onto somebody already laying (deservedly) flat on the mat. A motherfucking cherry on top. Or maybe a better metaphor is the cinnamon sugar sprinkled onto Taylor’s famous chai cookies.
The campaign had messaging and content ready to go really quickly and friendship bracelets up on the site to sell. Now, they could have been planning to do bracelets regardless, but that timing says everything. That first sentence isn’t there without an official Taylor endorsement either. Not like, legally, or anything. Just trust me as a content person and a copywriter.
My pre-order went in immediately.
Now, on Taylor’s side of things, I don’t think this was all quickly pulled together because of the Brittany Mahomes hug at the US Open. But it is part of a real and ongoing PR situation and, honestly, the Lady Mahomes has been a, pain, in Tree’s ass for about a year now. (Sorry I couldn’t help myself.) That idiot’s garbage is layered on top of the larger and longer conversations about Taylor and politics and what she should or should not be doing and where she stands and all the white lady feminism, etc.
So Team Swift/Paine got to change the narrative a bit and wrapped up this particular endorsement conversation before the VMAs, where she could then make a “register to vote” etc statement without getting fully ripped to shreds by the internet for not making her own views known. Plus, like I said, there is no doubt in my mind Taylor wanted to do it and believes what she wrote with her whole heart. Or was never NOT on Team Kamala.
But if you’re acting like there isn’t a lot of thought put into these things or that this was purely Tree + Taylor doing their thing, well, you just saw my notes.
The MAGAs also got big mad at Caitlin Clark for liking Taylor’s post. How far can I roll my eyes back in my head?????
Just reposting this TikTok for good measure…
Unfortunately re: Taylor and the VMAs…
…I was also right about my girl. This is bad. BAD BAD BAD.
I am still LOLing at this brilliance.
But to use the parlance of my beloved Heather + Jessica of GFY, “Her head looks great.”
The Monse was also ughhhhhhhh. I’m down bad crying at the screen…and my teenage petulance is certainly showing.
I still have PTSD from a certain pinstripe Monse-strosity.
(Lest you think Monse doesn’t make chic pieces, they did this!)
Guys, we have to stop acting like being the most famous makes one the most fashionable, let alone a style icon. It’s simply not true. I love Taylor more than ANYONE and I’ve been here the whole damn time.
(A Scorpio will have receipts, a consistent opinion, and a longggggggg memory.)
We know my love is pure and true and I have no shame or embarrassment about it. I happily partook in the entire bead TikTok challenge and earned my message and digital bracelet + Swiftie frame.
It gives me no pleasure to tell you all that Taylor is not that girl for fashion and never has been. Well, except a little bit of pleasure when I lecture to people about this (hot) topic—which is where that plaid Dior looked like it was from.
This does not mean she won’t wear things that are great sometimes or that she can’t still look pretty in a hideous outfit. She IS pretty. And great doesn’t necessarily equal “I want to wear it myself”, though I love when our tastes align. Fashion is, of course, subjective, but there are many things I have written about as fantastic fashion that are not MY personal style. Obviously, everyone can like what they like. But I will have notes.
The Lover era1 was real rough. Did everyone forget??? The glam (almost) always did its thing though. THANK GOD.
This entire combo of dress/bag/shoes/man made me want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee….and even if you don’t hate this like I do, it’s not GOOD. I’m sorry. It’s just not.
Taylor sometimes uses her stylist for off-duty and sometimes does not. I’m not saying she should, but maybe don’t also put on everything from the box Gucci messengered into one outfit. (The only thing I’d personally want is the bag, styled wildly differently.)
So, yeah, I have a lot of opinions. That’s why WHN exists.
But another thing I will also have is personal style. I’m sure lots of people hate it, which I could give two shits about (much like Taylor rightfully wouldn’t give two shits what I think of hers), but you can define the core of my aesthetic. That’s not to say that one must always dress the same, just that there is a center from which all the other looks and adaptations of new trends and such grow.
Blondie has never had a core personal style or a really good stylist and that’s (to my mind) why we see a lot of inconsistency and bad choices. Some of this could be due to all the voices that had a say in her look and career when she was just a kid herself. Some of it is because non-theatrical/offstage style is just not one of her bazilllllllion gifts or talents. WHICH IS FINE.
She’s also really loyal, which is a great quality in a person and a pillar of my own nature. But it may be hindering the fashions. This whole spate of recent outfits sure does have a whiff of Blake Lively on it and that’s not one of the new stylists on my list, Taylor.
It’s the total opposite when it comes to her hair and makeup. She absolutely has a beauty core, which has evolved and can take different paths but is always Taylor. Her glam pretty much never misses because she knows very clearly who she is in that space.
So there. I love you, Blondie. You honestly don’t need to change if you don’t want to. But the rest of the world needs to stop pretending this is Fashion.
Let’s end this section with some charming Taylor news out of Indy where our Children’s Museum is prepping for the arrival of The Eras Tour in November. (Though the decor will change for October and the Haunted House and then the bracelets will be back before the shows.)
This is how you do Taylor-adjacent content that doesn’t inauthentic or thirsty. And they nailed the Swiftian attention to detail and big overachiever energy that is a common thread between our girl and most of the fandom. I’m very proud.
Her cats on the bead details! The color choice for the 13! We love to see it.
Whiskey. Neat?
Beyoncé was not at the VMAs but she is on the newsstand. Is this GQ situation my favorite Beyoncé cover photo? Absolutely not. I actually think it’s…
…but I’m always glad when the Queen B lets us into her head in any way she would like. In this case, that is a photo shoot that promotes her whiskey and an email interview, which is more than she gives most outlets.
There are better images inside, thank goodness.
I’m a whiskey girlie too, Bey. (Actually so is Taylor.) But I never could have described it this way. And that’s why you are you and I am…this.
I’ll never forget the first day I had whiskey. It spoke to me nice. I remember thinking, Why have I never had this before? It was strong and warm, just the right amount of challenge. I loved the process, the ritual of it. Whiskey isn’t something you just shoot down. It’s a commitment. You gotta have patience. I like that. Then I got into vintage Japanese whiskey and started doing tastings. It opened up a whole new world. I love everything about whiskey. The color, the smell, the way it dances in the glass.… And I love the stories that come with it. Every bottle has a history. I also like introducing whiskey to people who don’t know they love it yet. I think a lot more women would love it if they tasted it, and if they were really spoken to by the whiskey world.
Whiskey isn’t just for old men in smoky bars; it’s for anyone who appreciates depth, complexity, and a bit of mystery. The entire aging process is a labor of love, with attention put into every step, from the grains malting to the handcrafted barrels, and I appreciate all of it. Making whiskey is an art form. That’s what I love and respect about it. As the great Willie Nelson once said: Sometimes you don’t know what you love until somebody puts you on to some real good shit. So, to all the whiskey lovers out there, you’re welcome!
Read the whole GQ interview here.
Like a Chappell Roan
Another big music cover dropped this week and it’s a COVER cover. Well done, Rolling Stone + Chappell. I love love love love love it.
The cover, the rest of the shoot, the interview, the star who isn’t afraid to really talk. It’s taking me back to the eras when I fell in love with and then started working in magazines, which I’m currently doing a lot of discussions around in my IU class. Like the things we should try not to lose or recapture if they’re already gone and what it’s better that we’re rid of now.
The different layers of art and artists causing conversations happening here might actually be another one of my kinks. I get a buzz from it.
Brittany is one of my favorite RS writers, too. She’s so fantastic.
I very much recommend you read the whole story if you have not already. But here are a few quotes I loved:
“What’s so infuriating is how people are just now taking me seriously. Like, ‘You know what, bitch? I’ve been doing this shit and you’re just now catching up.’ ”
“I started gaining a lot of followers when I was being really insane on TikTok,” she explains. During this time, Roan was posting and promoting her way through hypomania, a common feature of bipolar II that involves elevated mood and hyperactivity. “I wasn’t sleeping,” she says. “I was on the incorrect meds. I had the energy and the delusion and realized that this app is fueled off of mental illness. Straight up.”
“It feels so good to prove them wrong because they weren’t just a little wrong. They were really, really, really wrong. To know that my gut instinct was right is the best feeling in the world. Purposeful revenge does not feel good, but revenge by accident feels awesome.”
“They need to see me as a random bitch on the street,” she says to me, a sentiment that she will repeat in a pair of TikToks about creepy fan behavior she’ll post in August. “You can’t yell at a random bitch who’s on the sidewalk that you don’t know. It’s considered catcalling or harassment.”
“Just because you don’t know someone doesn’t mean that they’re an industry plant. Did you ever consider maybe you’re just out of the loop?”
Chappell is incredible. Full stop. I’m so obsessed with her. I realized I don’t think I ever posted some of usual, terribly filmed amateur concert vids from when I was lucky enough to see her open for #1 Olivia in Chicago back in March.
She crushed every aspect of the VMAs, too. Once again in a way that made me think of a different time (complimentary).
The entire ‘fit + glam! The rug! The knight! The yelling back at a rude photographer! Assignment, understood.
Yes yes yes to it all.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater
Et tu, Dave Grohl? (LOL, of course. Because…men.) His transgression (and I’m going to guess this isn’t his first) doesn’t make him straight evil like some of these fools, but it is disappointing.
If you’re going to step out on your wife at age 55 and you’re still incapable or unwilling to wrap it up, there’s this thing called a vasectomy you should look into, big guy. Just sayin’.
Related: Super cool that many women (me, it’s me currently) are out here fighting against the imposter syndrome intrusive thoughts in our heads on the regular and Billy McFarland is booking national morning show segments about TRYING TO DO FYREFEST AGAIN? I cannot. This man went to prison and the Today show is like sure let’s promote you running back your scam. What are we doing, people? This is embarrassing and infuriating.
Let’s all try to channel Dolly as much as humanly possible when we see men failing their way (sometimes criminally!) into multiple chances, which is extremely evergreen advice and a decidedly freezing cold take. But that doesn’t make it less true.
In Dolly We Trust.
Are the HS4 Demos in the Room With Us?
My witchy senses are tingling and I think they’re telling me we’re getting real close to needing a proper WHN watch section for the next album from Harry Edward Styles. I’m titillated. I’m terrified—of myself, of course, and for my bank account/productivity levels.
I’ve never wavered from my belief that an announcement and possibly a first single would hit in the back half of 2024 and here we are. You don’t have to be in the Coven of Psychos (or any similarly invested fandom subsection) to make predictions based on general music industry release trends or those often followed by a particular artist you pay closer-than-most attention to. But I obviously have a level of knowledge about this man’s patterns that I find endearing, and others might find concerning.
Sidebar: Jeffrey2, seriously, you never have to worry. Club Chalamet, I am very decidedly not. Ew. Even teen me knew better. This is what Chappell Roan is talking about, people. Boundaries, which I literally have tattooed in Morse code on my right middle finger.
Anyway, the latest thing I’m calling a proof point inside my own head was the British Fruit Witch popping up at London Fashion Week for the S.S. Daley show this week.
Harry was an early adopter of the brand and helped get it a lot of (deserved, imo) attention. He wore pieces in the “Golden” music video, during press for Harry’s House, and at the Brits—just to name a few examples.
He then became a minority investor in the brand back in January. But he has not previously appeared at any events or shows for the brand.
Now, designer Steven Stokey-Daley is showing womenswear for the first time, so there could be a multi-pronged, subtle PR strategy happening. I approve of all of these messages, even if they’re not meant to be messages.
Harry performed (with Stevie) at a Gucci resort show back in 2019 and later that year announced Fine Line. He obviously had a crazy tight relationship with Alessandro, going so far as to do a capsule collection. But he was decidedly not a fixture front row at the shows. This man hasn’t done fashion week in quite some time.
It very much feels like we’re activating. AHHHHHHHHH.
I am also pleased to see that we are once again aligned on a pants silhouette. I’ve basically bought four pairs of this vibe so far season—at a very different price point, natch. Much like how it played out in my actual life, my fashion sense aligns more with dad than mom3.
He looks so good. Jesus Christ, jawline. JESUS. CHRIST.
An expensive white tank that dips low on the chest? Always a win. Same with his beloved Vans (no dirty ones for LFW!) Harold is among those of us who have never stopped wearing Vans, though the kids are saying they’re back.
But it’s the crocheted strawberry pin by @kustartt that truly sent me. Fruit witch vibes 4EVA 🍓🍉🥝🍌🍒🍋🍇
I wore cherries to see Posty on Thursday. Witch shit.
LHH lives on inside him forever. Bless. I love when he makes an appearance by way of a hard stare.
Death by heel clicks? Sure, that tracks for me. Daddy ⬆️. Baby ⬇️. Actually a variant of baby…babygirl ⬇️.
And…the womenswear looked unsurprisingly great and right up my alley.
I need this look on my body, stat.
Steven Stokey-Daley always does a lot of whimsical (but never twee) stuff with knits and animals4. The print on those shorts is divine too—and I love the way Harry Lambert styles the show. Riche quirky is very much my thing. This is wildly unsurprising given how much I’m in the bag for the work he does with the British man. (Emma Corrin, another Lambert client, was also in attendance.)
The undercurrent of art inspo is an S.S. Daley staple.
From the caption in this Another Mag Reel:
Born in 1895, the painter’s society portraits of women made her stand out from the crowd: a world away from the reclining nudes that peppered the walls of the National Gallery, she saw her contemporary women for what they were, human creatures as complex and malleable as men in their personalities and their attire. Gluck’s women wore belts, ornate hats, their nails painted, lips pouted.
Echoing this playful and nonconformist sensibility through his collection, Stokey-Daley pieces together a S/S25 collection of functional tailoring, pleated skirts, and soft knitwear pieces.
“Gluck used clothing to curate their identity, then observed the fashion of a lifetime of lovers. This collection is about the universe around Gluck, allowing us to go deep into the techniques of womenswear. As with our men’s collections, every piece matters, designed to create a full wardrobe,” says Stokey-Daley.
S.S. Daley has never put itself in a gendered fashion box and that remains so with the foray into womenswear. Gluck is not an artist I was familiar with, but I learned so much from the Wiki alone. I’m going to need to do a deeper dive later.
You can check out the whole collection here.
H has also been taking a lot more fan pics of late—including this late-breaking Saturday shot that derailed me for more than a few minutes.
Maybe he’s just chill and happy and unbothered when non-psychos ask for a photo in this current moment. Maybe he just wanted to support his stylist and his designer friend/business partner.
None of this is necessarily SOMETHING, but it’s also not NOTHING. When you fangirl as hard and deeply as some of us do for our faves, you can sense a shift in the atmosphere—and I’m telling you, I do.
Is Abby even a person anymore? Is she unmoored from time and space? We don’t know…
After the fashion show on Friday, he scooted over to his big sister Gemma’s book event—and I don’t think this had anything to with anything aside from being a nice brother, which he is. This was not promo, just family stuff.
But it is always very TPWK of his mom to drop a photo into one of her posts. See how quickly he can shift from daddy to baby once again? It’s not right. (Please never stop.)
Also, Anne is the cutest and if you follow her or have ever seen her do an interview about her kids, it’s easy to deduce why Harry is able to stay as grounded as he is given the level of fame he’s had since he was 16. (The same can very much be said about Andrea Swift.)
Mama Twist + Mama Swift are really holding it down. Anne brings the exact same energy for Gemma, of course.
We obviously support all members of the Styles family in this household. I recently gave Anne’s children’s book, Betty and the Mysterious Visitor, to my nephew Teddy 🧸 as part of his third birthday present. It’s a very charming and sweet lil book.
Every nephew birthday present from Aunt Abby involves at least one book. My other lil Virgo Gardner, David, turned 10 recently, and he’s a HUGE reader. It’s so fun to buy him the books I first fell in love with as a kid. I still reread them not sporadically.
The Styles family also loves a book.
Gemma Styles is quite a lovely writer. I’ve definitely referenced this old piece from Another Man here a time or two, but it’s one of my favorites. As someone who knows a thing or two about being a protective/proud/anxious older sister to an extremely charismatic, talented, and beloved-by-all little brother (albeit on a smaller scale than a certain global pop star), the final lines in bold have never failed to make me cry:
I stayed nearby so that when the call came and he was out of the competition, I could go and commiserate, take him home to Cheshire and school, and back to his normal life. None of us wanted him to fail but we never dreamed things would go the way they did. That call never came. He has just kept on winning and winning – maybe not The X Factor, but there’s no denying he’s golden. My baby brother never came home again. He grew up, and all of our memories became his origin story.
Gemma’s not one to spill about her family’s life (I love this about and for her), but Harry’s fame did give her a platform of her own, whether she wanted it her not. I mean, she’s got 10 million followers on IG. That’s not all from him, of course, but that’s where it started.
Sidebar: I was so glad Gemma was able to keep her pregnancy private—and her baby girl’s name and face since her birth. That’s no small feat in a world of Harries and Directioners and just generally nosy people with smartphones. Uncle Harry babysat while she did a shoot for a book promo piece in The Times. Because of course he did.
She has chosen to use her voice in fantastic ways around issues like mental health and sustainability, to name two of her big passions. Her podcast, Good Influence, is really smart. It’s not focused on her, per se, and certainly not Harry. I don’t know that I ever heard her utter his name on the show. Instead, she brought on guests who are experts in areas and topics she’s interested in. I’m not sure if she’s planning to do more eps, but there’s a nice size back catalogue available if you want to check it out.
I must also shout out the very cute and reasonably-price line of eyewear she did.
I own many, many pairs and love them all. If you are ever wondering where my sunnies are from, it’s typically either Target or Gemma Styles.
She is also the person who (unbeknownst to her) introduced me to one of my most favorite brands: Queens of Archive. I was instantly in love from this photo, found out who made the dress (thanks to a Gemma Styles fashion update account!), and purchased it for myself. I have been screaming about—and buying pieces from—this delicious little Brit line ever since. Said dress also turned Busy Phillips into a major fan when she saw me in it at our mutual friend’s birthday party last year.
GOOD INFLUENCE INDEED!
(Yes, these three all have ridiculously good hair genes—and Harry and Gemma both look so much like their mom.)
As for the book, I’ve got it on pre-order as it doesn’t come out in the US until November. And not just because she’s a Styles and the title is a phrase that lingers in my head all day, every day: Why Am I Like This?
Here’s the description:
In her debut book—which draws on her own experience with mental health issues and neurodivergence—writer, podcaster, and advocate Gemma Styles captures the voice of her generation as she gets curious about how we tick in order to better understand and navigate the unique pressures of life today.
In the face of unprecedented levels of loneliness, burnout, and insecurity, and referencing the insight of experts and brand new research, Why Am I Like This? shows that by harnessing the power of curiosity and compassion, we can start to feel more hopeful, connected, and at peace with ourselves and each other. From how we communicate, to our ambitions and self-image, Gemma paints a picture of mental health in the digital age, including her own journey and ADHD diagnosis to highlight the ways in which women’s mental health in particular is often overlooked or trivialized.
A thought-provoking, vulnerable, and engaging conversation on mental health, societal norms, and personal expectations from Gen Z’s favorite big sister.
And a snippet from The Times article:
Now she has written a book, Why Am I Like This? — a warm, compassionate and digestible account of why our imperfect human brains sometimes struggle with the demands of modern life. It takes on neuroscience, anthropology and psychology, covering everything from social media to SSRIs, activism to the 24/7 news doom cycle, and the physiology of what exactly our brains are doing when they go into “fight or flight” mode — all dispatched with thoughtful explanations and kind asides.
The ultimate message is to cut yourself some slack. “If you’re someone who is a little bit introspective, or interested in understanding yourself better, that’s who I was writing it for,” Styles says.
An anxious eldest daughter who was a pleasure to have in class but also got a later in life (though not as late as mine) ADHD diagnosis who thinks it’s really important to talk about mental health and therapy and likes to nerd out about topics she finds fascinating? I AM IN.
I can’t wait to read it and we shall discuss further once that happens—because I think a lot of you probably hang out here due to brains that might be firing around in ways that have caused you to ask yourselves that same question from the title.
Here’s Gemma talking about the book recently, while wearing a v. cute Pleasing sweater.
Now onto way less literary pursuits…
From Soft Swinging to Hulu Streaming
I devoured The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and I need more of it immediately.
I first became aware of this SLC MomTok crew when the whole “soft swinging” scandal broke and I’ve been fascinated by these women who almost all look exactly alike ever since.
Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long to get them on television—and it would appear that somebody tried to shop it earlier because there’s a significant time jump from the pilot to the second episode. Did nobody pick this up at first and what is wrong with you? It has TLC written all over it. Anyway, the show (8 eps) landed on Hulu and I better hear about a renewal notice next week. The buzz is certainly buzzing around this one.
The Cut has a great explainer on the drama that started it all. But the basic gist is this group of Mormon moms started making dance videos on TikTok that sometimes included their husbands or kids and gained significant followings. The main girlie—then and now—is Taylor Frankie Paul. She is a hot mess and perfect for reality TV.
A couple years ago, she announced her split from her husband, via TikTok ofc. And then there were subsequent cryptic posts about not being able to say why her life was falling apart without bringing the others “down with her.” Then she went on live a few days later and said the group was “soft swinging”, meaning they were hooking up with each other, “everything but” style. In front of the group. You were never supposed to take it to some private level or actually bang. She did both, per her own admission.
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Obvs shit BLEW up and all these other couples are like, we didn’t swing, uh-huh, not us. And I was very…
Like, of course they’re all trying to experiment and shit. These people are SO repressed and get married crazy young and are taught zero things about sex, but they still have hormones! There’s a lot more to dig into on the internet, if you’re so inclined.
Now we’ve got a reality show and Taylor is still a star, but with a new boyfriend/baby daddy that she fights with constantly because almost everyone on this show is wildly immature and has been isolated from so much of how the world works. Like, the police get called by a neighbor because the fighting is so loud. I hate Dakota. He sucks. But all these men suck.
Mormonism is allllllllllll about a patriarchal setup and while these dudes come by some of this shit honestly based on how they were raised, I still cannot. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions about those who may or may not be shoving their true sexuality down deep inside so as not to ever admit they’d rather get up on a D, not in a V.
Taylor’s also got a mom that I’m pretty sure hates her very existence, but also likes being on TV. It’s just one more reason why her rebellion makes sense.
Seriously, these women are very hard to distinguish from each other—except for Taylor and Whitney, who we’ll get to in a second. They almost all have the same hair in varying shades and use the same exact curling iron techniques for styling.
So many of their names end in an “I”, I think? The houses are all the same, too. Like that new construction lameness with a lot of white, cream, and gray and all the same fixtures and absolutely no character or personality. Big Mormon Energy.
One of these women is Jennifer/Jen/Jenny Affleck (lol) whose Instagram bio reads, “She’s not a regular mom she’s a ✨cool mom✨” They always put her last name on the screen. Her husband—a man named Zac with supremely creepy blonde hair—is some sort of vague cousin of Ben’s. I’m talking they have never met each other level of vague.
I’d say she’s the third breakout “star”, if you will.
See what I’m saying about the houses?
But the other super memorable character here is Whitney, who you will always recognize because she has much shorter hair than the others for a significant portion of the season.
She is a total cunt (not to be confused with “she is cunt”), but also I’m not sure she knows how to be a person. Just in general. Like she bakes her pregnancy pee stick into an announcement cake for her family and seems genuinely confused as to why her sister wants to barf. Yes, for real. But “there’s a lid on it”, so “there’s that” she says.
Does she even fully comprehend what an asshole she is and why she’s not liked? It depends on the moment. She def thinks she should be running the group and nobody agrees, nobody agrees, nobody agreeeeeeeessssssssssss.
Um, also her husband had a “porn addiction” and she’s had to own up to the group that the rumors about him being on dating apps were true. She keeps saying he was Tinder. LOL. Ma’am, I think you mean Grindr.
Oh. and she did a TikTok dance next to her baby on a ventilator at the hospital with RSV and is mad that people called her out, but seem to forgive Taylor Frankie Paul for anything she does. Again, I’m not sure she really understands the why here. Or with the Fruity Pebbles thing and why it was taken as insulting. If you’ve watched you know what I’m talking about.
There are so many things I want to discuss about this show, not least of which are the absolutely bonkers soda orders. Because sugar and soda are the way you get lit in Mormon land. My friend Emily told me we’re getting a location of the soda shop chain they go to on the show and I will definitely be going to check it out, but am also mortified that we are a chosen market.
Are you watching and would you like to talk about it with me in perpetuity?
The Perfect Couple’s Dance Card Is Full
The opening dance scene from this Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Dakota Fanning, Meghann Fahy, Eve Hewson show is one of my new Roman Empires. (Why couldn’t they cast anyone famous for the brothers???)
What? Huh? Nothing about it makes sense tonally or in anything-ly and I didn’t skip it once in six episodes. It might truly be a gift from the universe, dispensed to help us take some time to dissociate and discuss something polarizing that isn’t serious and political.
I need to know every single piece of background intel and not just this stuff the cast is giving about how much they didn’t want anything to do with it, but in a nice way friendly sound byte kind of way that lets you know they think it’s utter nonsense. But also that they were all cool about it because this was a great work environment overall.
This is fantastic content. I love it.
But I want, nay need, to know every detail from the moment this was a concept of an idea in someone’s head to it appearing on my Netflix account. I want to see transcripts of every phone call that was made to an agent and then that agent’s conversation with the producers.
Did Nicole call Ted Sarandos? Did both Nicole and Liev ring up Naomi Watts for advice? Did they all think, “There’s no way they’re really going to use this, right? It doesn’t have any connection to the show and isn’t the vibe of any of these characters.” Honestly, it makes more sense for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
The rest of the show was totally entertaining to me, but it is also not good good. Nor is Nicole’s wig. I absolutely recommend it, though. I think Eve Hewson (daughter of Bono) is genuinely good in pretty much everything she does. We know I ride hard for Meghann Fahy. And Liev5 is perfect in his role, too.
Plus, it’s only six eps. British series-style. While I lament that there should be more shows done in an old school network format with 20+ episodes so there’s space for filler and more character development (and development of more characters), I also think some should only be six. It’s a modernized cousin of the network miniseries, one of my core pillar content genres.
Also fuck Indiewire for this. Nobody says that shit about men and we are blessed that Nicole does so much and so is everyone who works on the shows that get greenlit on the basis of her involvement.
It also means not every single project has to feel so precious, just like episodes of network TV. She gets weird and I like it. People are quite welcome to not watch things if they’re in agreement.
Nicole is a global treasure. Period.
Ick Me Once
What hath given me the ick, you ask?
Grown white men in bucket hats—past, present, and future. This is not up for debate and should not require any further explanation.
I cannot even begin to express how deeply I love the post below and the person who sent it to me because she truly understands my essence. I cannot stop laughing about how perfect it is.
Oh, you’ve signed off on and decided to wear a branded bucket hat? Cool. You (or your ilk) would never, ever, ever getting into my pants. Like, ever.
Let me be clear, LIKE EVER.
Brad Pitt can’t even pull it off. This proves my thesis.
Gen X Moment of Zen
Always a place to return, but the title of Gemma’s aforementioned book made it even more appropriate.
Bonus bebe Claire Danes:
Oh, and…
If Charli’s still bratting, I’m still bratting … One of the new SNL cast members is a fellow Hoosier. Bloomington’s own, extremely funny Emil Wakim. YAY! … I love all the content J. Crew is doing around the return of the famed catalog (which also YAY) … Renée Rapp is so funny (and correct) … I have watched this ElsieFest performance of “Defying Gravity” a million times already … Related: The second part of the Wicked movie got a release date … Pacey is looking as good as ever. Yum yum. … Grey’s, nobody wanted Sydney back. Nobody. This better be for only one episode … Thank you to Canvas Rebel for doing this nice lil Q+A with me … How much will I buy from the Kacey Musgraves x Reformation capsule that drops this week? I already have my eyes on the coat and the denim in this Paper mag story/preview.
Until next week, here’s Noah Kahan performing a gorgeous cover of Harry’s “Fine Line”, aka the title track from the album Stevie Nicks called his Rumours. I wish had footage of my reaction when my friend Matt showed me this the other night. It was…something.
xA
I love the Eras Tour take on Lover. Everything chilled out a bit, but stayed on brand. I love everything she wears on the tour and have felt that way about pretty much all her tour looks over the years.
Jeffery is Jeff Azoff, Harry’s manager post-1D and one of his BFFs (H officiated Jeff’s wedding.) Jeff’s dad is Irv, an iconic and iconically ornery music manager (longtime industry nickname: “The Poison Dwarf”) who has worked with artists like Fleetwood Mac, Eagles, Steely Dan, Minnie Riperton (aka Maya Rudolph’s late mom), Christina Aguilera (oh boy do I have a YM story about this pair from the aughts!), U2 + many more. But he’s also had his hands all over stuff with global music rights and Live Nation and venues (via his stake in MSG Entertainment). Think: The Sphere, The Garden, etc. So, yeah he’s crazy powerful. Jeff’s mom Shelli may be known to you as “Aunt Shelli” on the Kardashians as she is longtime besties with Kris Jenner and all their kids grew up super close. Kim’s forever best friend (part of her “Lifers” crew) is Alison Statter, née Azoff, whose PR/influencer marketing agency I once worked with briefly on a project for Revlon a million years ago. Have I been known to entertain my own bestie with mini-fanfics in our text threads about Jeff constantly trying (and failing) to impress his dad? I can neither confirm or deny. Thank you for attending this Brief History of the Most Powerful Families in Music Ted Talk via footnote.
To the uninitiated, those of us who are both Swifties and Harries refer to ourselves as Children of Divorce.
The (way-too-expensive) knits Harry and team have done for Pleasing are often influenced, in turn, by Steven Stokes-Daley’s work.
I will never get over that Liev once tried to hit on me at a party back in the DAY and I totally could have made out with him, but I was loyal to my stupid boyfriend. Sigh. He is still very attractive, even though I think he’s always had that air of “insufferable actor who loves to talk about his craft” too much. This is why a singular party makeout would have been ideal.
I LOLed at the cats and dogs turned into people tweet. Perfect. I HATE that hat. - J
Bucket hats and grown white me —-priceless 😂😂😂 Literally laughed out loud!