Ope, I Only Threw This Party 4 U
Taylor. Pacers. And Just Like That. A new Haim single. A new Hadid sister. Rube-Goldberg (Death's Version) (Bloodlines Remix) + lots more.
Hi hi hi.
What a whirlwind of a weekend (plus a day or two) it’s been over here.
Blondie owns all her music again.
My Indiana Pacers are the in the NBA Finals.
AJLT is back with one of the worst scenes my eyeballs have ever taken in.
There’s another new Haim single.
Harry’s slutty lil short shorts are still in heavy rotation.
The Hadids hard launched a new sister.
I saw Final Destination: Bloodlines.
Let’s dive right into all of that—plus more TV + music + chronically online randomness sprinkled around.
Ownership Has Its Privileges
On Friday, Taylor Alison Swift dropped an Instagram post out of the sky with a caption that read, “You belong with me. 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤 Letter on my site :)”
Said letter—in her standard ‘this is my handwriting they turned into a font’ font—informed the world know that Blondie now owns the rights to all of her masters and accompanying materials.
Here’s the letter in full, emphasis mine:
Hi,
I’m trying to gather my thoughts into something coherent, but right now my mind is just a slideshow. A flashback sequence of all the times I daydreamed about, wished for, and pined away for a chance to get to tell you this news. All the times I was thiiiiiiiis close, reaching out for it, only for it to fall through. I almost stopped thinking it could ever happen, after 20 years of having the carrot dangled and then yanked away. But that’s all in the past now. I’ve been 1 at random intervals ever since I found out that this is really happening. I really get to say these words:
All of the music I’ve ever made… now belongs… to me2.
And all my music videos.
All the concert films.
The album art and photography.
The unreleased songs.
The memories. The magic. The madness.
Every single era.
My entire life’s work.To say this is my greatest dream come true is actually being pretty reserved about it. To my fans, you know how important this has been to me — so much so that I meticulously re-recorded and released four of my albums, calling them Taylor’s Version. The passionate support you showed those albums and the success story you turned The Eras Tour into is why I was able to buy back my music. I can’t thank you enough for helping to reunite me with this art that I have dedicated my life to, but have never owned until now.
All I’ve ever wanted was the opportunity to work hard enough to be able to one day purchase my music outright with no strings attached, no partnership, with full autonomy. I will be forever grateful to everyone at Shamrock Capital for being the first people to ever offer this to me. The way they’ve handled every interaction we’ve had has been honest, fair, and respectful. This was a business deal to them, but I really felt like they saw it for what it was to me: My memories and my sweat and my handwriting and my decades of dreams. I am endlessly thankful. My first tattoo might just be a huge shamrock in the middle of my forehead.
I know, I know. What about Rep TV? Full transparency: I haven’t even re-recorded a quarter of it. The Reputation album was so specific to that time in my life, and I kept hitting a stopping point when I tried to remake it. All that defiance, that longing to be understood while feeling purposely misunderstood, that desperate hope, that shame-born snarl and mischief. To be perfectly honest, it’s the one album in the first 6 that I thought couldn’t be improved upon by redoing it. Not the music, or photos, or videos. So I kept putting it off. There will be a time (if you’re into the idea) for the unreleased Vault tracks from that album to hatch. I’ve already completely re-recorded my entire debut album, and I really love how it sounds now. Those 2 albums can still have their moments to re-emerge when the time is right, if that would be something you guys would be excited about. But if it happens, it won’t be from a place of sadness and longing for what I wish I could have. It will just be a celebration now.
I’m extremely heartened by the conversations this saga has reignited within my industry among artists and fans. Every time a new artist tells me they negotiated to own their master recordings in their record contract because of this fight, I’m reminded of how important it was for all of this to happen. Thank you for being curious about something that used to be thought of as too industry-centric for broad discussion. You’ll never know how much it means to me that you cared. Every single bit of it counted and ended us up here.
Thanks to you and your goodwill, teamwork and encouragement, the best things that have ever been mine… finally actually are.
Elated and amazed,
Taylor
I cried like a baby. But I also had a perma-grin on my face like when I got my driver’s license in the middle a school day and got to cruise back solo. You couldn’t tell me SHIT and that smile was not going anywhere.
As an eldest daughter grade whore witchy Scorpio Swiftie, the success of this group project based, in part, on playing the long game when it comes to revenge? She was very fucking pleased.
I’m going to hazard a guess that Blake reallllly wished she could post something about this. She did not and I’m sure Tree Paine was and continues to be thrilled. Caitlin, Phoebe, Jack, Selena, Suki, and others did do a lil online celebrating.
Owning the work was always the point. Period. Full stop. End of story.
Anyone who calls themselves a fan, even on the most casual level, who centered anything but that point has lost the plot3.
You know I know (and hate) how many people in my own fandom have indeed lost said plot, or never knew it to begin with. If you care about a narrative more than the work, that’s a problem. Here or in NBA discourse because yes I’m still fighting with online hoops bros in comments sections. Oops.
I love an Easter egg as much as the next Swiftie. I live for a good old-fashioned deciphering or clown sesh. But what’s been going on is way BEYOND and I had to essentially eradicate the extreme mental gymnastics crowd from my FYP because it made things desperately UNFUN for me.
Do your thing, people, but she was never ever diving into that much equation work. Like, ever. Not that she couldn’t, just that she wasn’t. Counting exclamation marks in a public statement? I’m down. A Beautiful Mind? Not so much. But that’s just me4.
See how you can just remove yourself from a segment of the internet that is not bringing you joy without stomping out someone else’s????? Look at that! Note: Chronically online, desperately unintelligent NBA bros who obviously don’t know shit about shit do not count lol. My game, my rules 🙃.
Anyway, that led to this Friday night thought.
I will also express one last adjacent and extremely stabby opinion before we move on from this glorious moment for Taylor Alison Swift that will inspire me for all my days to come. But this has been gnawing at me and the recent turn of events presented a perfect opportunity for me to express my Big Mad at the collective “you,” not necessarily YOU you. You know?
If you claim to care about any of this stuff (Taylor fan or not), but think it’s casually cute to use ChatGPT for your brain’s creative work….um, you’re giving aiding and abetting meets thievery corporation. And I don’t mean the electronic music duo who gave us such brilliant songs as “Lebanese Blonde” and “All That We Perceive”.
It’s neither casual nor cute.
You’re stealing from me and all my writer friends who have had their work published. From authors whose names you all know to those you’ve never heard of and never will. But you’re having so much fun, right? Ugh.
I’m not saying there aren’t incredibly valid use cases for AI in the world, but I think you know what I’m talking about in terms of creative spaces and purposes. I have never put a singular ask into ChatGPT, but I know way too many clever, smart people who are doing so.
It’s fucking horrifying and embarrassing. There, I said it. Yes, I’m judging.
You think we have critical thinking and imagination problems now? My god. But that’s a whole other rant. Followed by the climate damage, wasting of natural resources one that I would have an actual person with expertise in that area research and write.
But I digress. That lil demon you have writing jokes or toasts or emails or dating profiles or texts or whatever for you—even just for shits and giggles—learned how to do all that smithing from words they never owned the rights to.
Oh, the em-dash is a sign of someone using AI they say?
THAT IS BECAUSE A WHOLE LOT OF PROFESSIONAL WRITERS AND EDITORS LOVE THAT BRILLIANT BEAUTIFUL PUNCTUATION MARK AND ALL IT BRINGS TO THE PAGE—AND THE WORLD.
This holds for all artists. Painters, photographers, lyricists, musicians, and on and on.
I realize there tons of murkiness in all of this. But I don’t think being paid to write a story by a magazine (thus, depending on the contract, giving them the rights to the piece) means those words can later be plagiarized by a robot learning to fake sounding like a smart person in order to dumb down the masses and make gross tech asshats richer. (Yes, I just call AI generally “the robots” and will be continuing to do so until further notice.)
It’s the goddamn principle. Like, if your industry doesn’t work without theft what the hell kind of industry is it anyway?
Whenever I hear someone say they used ChatGPT, I want to make the barf gesture (with sound) like I do whenever I see a CyberTruck. Or scream into the void. That’s my truth, but by all means keep feeding the beast that could become the final nail in the coffin of creativity and critical thinking.
At the very least, feel a wee bit of shame when you do.
Okay, rant over. As an offering, I present you with the below palate cleanser.
Never Miss Leg Day
Just this5.
In 49 States It’s Just Basketball
NBA FINALS, BABYYYYYYYYYYYY! And it comes after taking down the New York Knickerbockers. Bless.
I was in the house for games 4 and 6 and my god was it glorious. Never let it be said that I approached my obsessions with anything less than unhinged (in a cool way), feral fandom.
Game 4, pre-tip:
Game 4, post-game:
Game 6 fit:
But we obvs throw on whatever tee is on our seat for the night. If you think you’re too cool for that, get right on outta here.
I cannot express how strongly I recommend living about a five-minute walk from a major basketball arena/concert venue lol.
I was too superstitious to post this last week, but here’s the card I pulled specifically for the Eastern Conference Finals, just before the Game 1 tip.
Ball don’t lie. Cards don’t lie.
I forgot how good this feels, to have one of your beloved teams vying for the championship. It’s been so damn long: 25 years for the Pacers and a date with the NBA Finals.
I’m so happy for those guys and all of us. Let’s not discount my nail and apparel sorcery work. Myles, our LEGO King. We love you so damn much.
The city feels electric and we know we are a massive underdog. We love it that way.
What Indiana’s own Megan Gailey said.
Right on, Coach Carlisle.
Sidebar: As coverage about the Indiana Pacers, who play in Indianapolis increases over the next week: Indy is short for Indianapolis, not Indiana. It’s amazing how many actual friends of mine still don't understand this distinction. If you see images of the Pacers in a jersey that says “Indy” in turquoise, those are our City jerseys. We won’t be wearing them in the playoffs, but I wouldn’t want you to be confused about this v. important knowledge I’ve just dropped 😉.
LFGGGG ‘CERS!!!!! Please feel free to hop on the bandwagon. We play a real fun style of ball and are pretty darn delightful to root for 💛.
Should any deep-pocketed ‘Cers fan be interested in acting as a benefactor, I am tech avail for any home games in Indy. Again, we did win both games at home when I was there and lost when I was not. But also, LOL we know I’ll be there at least once no matter what. Who needs a budget??
ALWAYS GO TO THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!
And Just Like That…Hate Watching Is Back, Baby!
Carrie and (some of) the girls are back and OY. What a disaster I can’t look away from, unless John Corbett is simulating some version of phone sex I hope I never encounter.
I love to hate you, show!! I fired off some quick thoughts, but also be sure to check out the Drinks With Broads recaps for more in-depth coverage of this inanity.
I thought the blank postcards as “romance” were bad. But then Aidan did dirty talk and phone sex and a piece of my soul left my body. Aidan apologists, go ahead and try to do something with that abomination of a scene that made me want to crawl out of my skin and depart from Earth like the aliens in Cocoon6.
I’ve never been more proud of my consistent hate of this character.
17 Reasons Why Aidan Shaw Sucks
Hello from my Summer Roberts-style rage blackout after yet ANOTHER photo emerged of Carrie Bradshaw gallivanting around town in a romantic way with Aidan Shaw.
I did very much enjoy that Miranda fucked a virgin nun played by Rosie O’Donnell who then kept texting her from New York tourist spots. That felt like vintage SATC.
We saw this outfit in pap shots during shooting and the hat is as ridiculous as you remember. I don’t hate the dress on its own though. It’s giving aughts Marc by Marc fabric vibes.
I don’t do Cool Ranch Doritos either, Seema.
Could anything make me care about this crush Lily Goldenblatt has on the ballet dancer? I doubt it.
Is Lisa Todd Wexley in Groundhog’s Day with this same regurgitated storyline?
I really miss Stanford and so does this show.
Did we really do that whole Carrie can’t work tech and alarms bit and not tie it up with alarms going off in her relationship? Or did I black out when Aidan came and hallucinate everything else I saw?
Sister Act
Gigi and Bella Hadid hard launched a new half-sister in a moment straight out of one of the funniest scenes on The Other Two, a show rife with funny scenes shows in recent years.
Basically, their dad Mohamed fathered another daughter, named Aydan Nix, back in the day. Aydan apparently grew up thinking another man was her father. I don’t think anybody was looking to make a big announcement, but the only reason I can surmise for the Hadids willingly giving the Daily Mail a statement is that they had the story and were running it no matter what. Because, of course. They’re the DM.
They have the story with the initial statement behind their paywall, which even I won’t pay for. People aggregated the story, along with everyone else online.
“We first connected in late 2023, and from that moment on, we’ve embraced Aydan with open arms.”
“She’s spent time with all of us, including our dad, and we’ve cherished this unexpected and beautiful addition to our family. As siblings, we’ve had many open and loving conversations— with Aydan included —about how to support and protect her.”
“Aydan and her family value their privacy, and we fully respect that. We kindly ask others to do the same and honor her wish and right to her anonymity as she continues her life as a young woman in New York.”
I mean, the genes don’t lie. That’s some real Hadid Face (Original Version).
LOL her IG handle.
I’m Your Summer Girl
Weather be damned these past few weeks, HAIM Summer has begun.
We have a new single, complete with another nod to aughts pap shots.
Jamie Dornan and Keira Knightley were so IT. All of their pap photos are burned into my brain.
I was wrong about the album being called Take Me Back, but it is the name of the tune and I am allowing myself a modicum of credit for calling something adjacent to correctness.
It’s another bop—and Alana’s favorite from I Quit.
Below, some other recent HAIMlights.
They played BBC Radio’s Big Weekend and it has me pumppppppppppped for tour.
Sigh. I want to be in England with them rn.
Their British GQ cover just dropped.
YES YES YES YES YES!
“We never wanted [the title] to be a negative,” Alana says. “When we say ‘I quit’, it’s like, ‘I quit the things that don’t serve me.’ And it’s really amazing, ’cause quitting is a new beginning.”
“The exit is also the entrance,” Este says.
“I think now, after [making music] for almost 20 years,” says Danielle, “it finally feels like we can be like, ‘You know what, I don’t give a fuck what that person said about us…’”
Este nods. “I’m done giving a fuck.”
“All of our songs are about our collective trauma and going through it,” Alana says. “A lot of our last album was us grappling with going to therapy for the first time and these emotions that had been bottled up for so many years, and I think with this album, we’ve done the work on ourselves, and now it’s time to party.”
A secondary from Stevie is always a good idea—and so is a possible collab OMG CAN YOU IMAGINE IF STEVIE AND THE HAIMS AND HARRY WERE ALL ON A TRACK FOR STEVIE’S ALBUM? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Don’t just take it from me, take it from actual Stevie Nicks: “It starts with Danielle’s voice – it is just stunning,” Nicks tells me. “She’s the first part of the puzzle, but then the percussion that Este and Alana wrap around her turn all of their songs into percussive masterpieces. [They are] something that I have never heard before. But coming from Mick Fleetwood’s great love of their kind of percussion, for me in a way, it’s like coming home. They could certainly all have been in Fleetwood Mac.” (Nicks adds that she’s working on a song with Haim, and that “some day, when you tumble into this song, you will understand everything I have just told you.”)
The ladies were also in Cannes earlier in the month for the premiere of Alana’s movie The Mastermind. We love the Chloe S. inspo, A.
(Of COURSE Este, Danielle, and Alana also love Ashlee Simpson’s “Shadow”. It’s such a fucking banger. If you haven’t listened to Autobiography in a while, I highly recommend.)
The Josh O’Connor7 arc was delightful, as was the return of the hangover song, and the “Bejeweled”8 moment.
so proud of @alanahaim !!! baby’s first cannes for the mastermind!!! takes us back! also we found josh..
🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨🫶💎✨
Less than three weeks until I Quit is all ours.
Death Becomes Her
As I’ve stated many times, I am powerless against the Final Destination franchise. If those movies are on TV, I’m locked the fuck in—and it’s usually a marathon. I’m very much not ashamed of that character trait.
I had a packed weekend and am away all this week, but I had to see this movie on Sunday. I was already pissed at myself that it had taken this long.
Reader, I was not disappointed. It’s another absurd, grotesque ride filled with a whole new spate of Rube-Goldbergian death traps.
I was obviously not alone as the latest installment opened with $51M at the box office and is now over $113M. The franchise is legit phenomenal with pacing, building tension, and making you look at everything in your path like it might start a chain reaction that ends with your demise.
How do they keep coming up with these? They never get old!
This story centers around some lore that they’re ret-conning into the franchise but I’m absolutely here for it. There are also some truly hilarious lines and a character with some real Roman Roy/Kieran Culkin energy.
I feel like the Haims are also obsessed with the Final Destination movies because they’re cool like that.
We know Charli XCX and Romy Mars9 are. Hollywood, take note of this idea favorite brat from Essex. She lays out so much of what is great about watching cursed hot people die and her spin on it with the It Girls is spot on. (Plus, I love a George shout-out in her vids!)
Romy’s response:
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4 Truths and a Laugh
TikTok spits facts and jokes all day, every day, but I’m trying to edit down my curations so let’s try this out for the random vids I don’t have another place for. But with soft boundaries and zero penalties if they’re all truths that make you laugh.
This is the type of candy exploration I want to see in the world every damn day.
When a thought has never occurred to you but then you hear someone say it and know it in your soul.
Yepppppppppppppppp.
Climb every mountain (of cringe)
Cunty numbies 🤣
Oh, and…
Nothing else. You’ve heard quite enough from me today.
Until next time, GO PACERS!!!!!!!!!!
xA
Same, girl. Same.
Ellipsis 4EVA…
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You know I feel strongly when I take to TikTok and Reels. Though I have promised myself I’ll throw some different creative stuff against the wall in those spaces this summer.
Um, and I think Taylor too. I can expound on this whole Extreme Swiftie Detective situation at a later date if that would be something you guys would be excited about.
No, that’s not a Lakers hat. But I do love that we’re both having a real yellow moment.
For those of you who are too young to get that reference, we watched a lot of movies and TV shows about people our grandparents’ age back in the ‘80s—to varying degrees of success. I hold that the first Cocoon is a forever emotional banger. It is a Ron Howard film, after all.
He’s in the movie and continues to seem like another good hang.
The Haims famously star in their bestie Taylor’s video for this song—as the wicked stepsisters, with Laura Dern as their.
A whole post about my fave daughter of Sofia Coppola is already in the works.