It Hits Different 'Cause It's You
During the NBA playoffs, the kingdom lights shined for Tyrese Haliburton, the Indiana Pacers, and all of 'Cers Nation. But not even that 💔 ending can erase all the magic made—on the court + off.
Hi hi.
Lord knows I’ve been trying to write this for a minute now.
I mentioned last week I was working on a post about the Pacers and the beauty of community through fandom—a core pillar of We Have Notes, the class I teach at IU, and my own actual life, natch. This is (hopefully) that, but also…maybe more? It’s definitely a fuck ton of words.
Who am I without a sidebar and/or a side quest? Plus, the way it all ended had me processing differently, for sure.
At first, I was in a grief fog. Now I realize I might also have subconsciously been putting it off because once I finished writing, this magical, mystical ride of a basketball season would be well and truly over. I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye. I will be missing it always and that would have been true even if we’d won.
But I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit…lights, camera, bitch write! Right?
The Venn diagram of pop culture fandoms that intersect here in the WHN community is more than I could have hoped for and it should surprise not a singular regular reader (or friend of mine) that I’ve been using my other myriad fandoms to help ease my pain. I don’t know any other way to be. But maybe that also gives more entry points to this post for those who didn’t watch a second of the NBA playoffs.
So, yes, it all culminates in a playlist. And I’ve played this clip 10000000x to self-soothe since Game 7.
I don’t think my fan experience was unique, but I do take pride in trying to contextualize it all in a way that either makes somebody else feel seen, or perhaps gives some insight into an unhinged fan—of anything—in your own life.
My heart is broken, my gut wrenched for my beloved Pacers—especially our young superstar, Tyrese Haliburton, who fell to the ground with a blown Achilles during the first quarter of what was shaping up to be an absolutely epic Game 7 of the NBA Finals against the Oklahoma City Thunder.
A tragic ending to a magical run.
We all knew right away what it was.
If I was betting on how many texts came out of the greater Indianapolis area with some variation of “That’s the fucking Achilles isn’t it?”, “Tell me I’m wrong in what I’m thinking I saw ripple up his calf,” or simply “nonononononononoonnononono,” I would automatically take the over.
Maybe you’re not a basketball person, or a sports person at all. Not to fear, I’m not here to write a breakdown1 of the Xs and Os or a referendum on officiating in the NBA. Though this mad woman wouldn’t mind one last “fuck you, forever” to Scott “The Extender” Foster for his nasty work in Game 4.
Just as I will never come from the perspective of a music critic when I discuss a new album, I am not a professional sports analyst. Forever a fangirl at my core, the focus is on the emotions, the layers, the invisible strings.
Love, loyalty, pride, grief, elation, devastation, connection.
These are universal feelings. You don’t need to be a Sporty Spice or a Pacers fan to relate.
But seriously, how could the sports gods do this to Hali2 after what had transpired in every round to get the Pacers here?
All the massive, unheard of comebacks. The “WHAT THE HALI? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” game winners that the “overrated” 25-year-old kept making round after round. Every time people thought, “There’s no way…” the Pacers found one. Togther.
To land in Game 7 of the motherfucking NBA Finals? What a dream.3 A level nobody except that glorious band of brothers, the coaching staff/organization, and this fandom thought they could achieve.
In 49 states, it’s just basketball. But this is Indiana.
Nothing could be more true, but we’ve still never won an NBA4 title. We haven’t been in the Finals since 20005—and never a Game 7. Those are rare, but we were there, goddamit.
Along the way, you could see this team changing hearts and minds in real time because they were just so damn fun to watch. The bandwagon was open for business. The ending was so devastating, people who hate the Pacers couldn’t even be mean about it in the comments sections.
I loved that as much as I enjoyed calling ignorant online NBA bros “soft”. They enjoy that kind of engagement on their posts so much 😉.
It wasn’t about US as we watched in stunned silence as James Johnson did the most JJ thing ever and helped carry his teammate, his lil bro, off the court.
It was about Ty6 and the team.
But this beautiful group kept fighting until the clock hit zero, just as they’d done through this entire run. Even leading at the half! A lesson in never giving up. Those boys apologized to the fans and to the city through tears after the game, but nothing could have been less necessary. WE ARE THE PROUDEST.
Every time I thought about their hearts and minds, I hurt more.
This will probably go down as my personal biggest sports what if?7 And I’m just a fan. Albeit one who has never been able to not feel stuff like this in the deepest parts of her soul and has quite literally broken a bone watching one of her teams play.
“I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs…”8
I drowned myself in sad TikTok edits—and live bidding during an online estate sale9—the day after.
Don McLean! Come on!!!
Listen, judge me all you want. It’s fair…but Morgan Wallen has some good ass songs and this Tok took me out.
I hope to live a very long time and I know the years will be filled with many highs and lows as a sports fan—and definitely a title for the ‘Cers. But I’ve been around long enough to understand it’s unlikely I’ll experience something quite like this again.
That’s how special this season was.
Lightning in a bottle, indeed10.
Hand on the throttle
Thought I caught lightning in a bottle
Oh, but it's gone again
And it was written
I got cursed like Eve got bitten
Oh, was it punishment?
Pad around when I get home
I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope
A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said
Please I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo the prophecy
I’ve taken to recording little vlogs and voice notes for myself lately, with no plans to do anything with them in particular other than revisit them myself. I think of it much like I do my Instagram Stories—as a sort of personal journal that maybe somebody else will enjoy. But I am also the girl who actually DOES rewatch her shitty concert videos all the time and would absolutely feel compelled to relive the pain of June 22, 2025.
There is video to these, but maybe I’m not comfortable getting quite THAT vulnerable. The extracted audio was recorded just before + after 11 PM on that fateful night.
Sad Abby, Pt I11
Sad Abby, Pt II
I think I was mentally prepared for a lot of endings, but not this one.
Even knowing the calf strain »»» Achilles tear pipeline. I was gonna be devastated if we lost, be it by blowout or last minute shot. But this? Hali going down in the first—losing him for the entirety of next season. When he’s just 25 and gave it ALL for us and his teammates. Knowing this meant there was a good chance the band would never be together again because this is how it goes in the NBA12? I wasn’t ready.
To use another quote I go to often (from Vanilla Sky): “The sweet is never as sweet without the sour.” Sure, true. But this felt too cruel, especially to Tyrese. Even still, as I believe I said on my Stories at some point, I don’t think we’d change a thing that didn’t involve an Achilles or Scott Foster in Game 4.
It’s not often you get to feel like you’re living inside the movie (or fanfic) version of the thing you love so dearly. But that’s absolutely what the past couple months have felt like for me, my hometown, and the rest of this awesome fandom.13
Many times along the way, I’d hear Beyoncé’s voice in my head singing, “Have you ever had fun like this?” NO, NO I HAVE NOT, MY QUEEN14.
Our season started out rough, to say the least. We were 10-15 at one point, but come January the Pacers turned into a serious problem for the league. Real ones knew that we could make some shit happen in the playoffs, but my god the voices against us were loud.
Then you throw in the whole “players voted Tyrese the most overrated in the NBA” narrative. Media literacy would lead one to learn that not even that many players voted, but it matters not. The ‘Cers fandom thanks each one because our guy took that personally and shoved it back in everyone’s faces round after round, clutch moment after clutch moment.
This team collectively let ‘em know. Again and again and again. With a beautiful, electric style of play. A deep love of the game and each other…and the city of Indianapolis, the whole state of Indiana. They know the lore—and that much of this fandom, myself included, lived through a whole lot of it and never left the team’s side.
I mean, the only time I got myself into a lil trouble with the law15 was after the original Reggie Miller choke celly game. And #31, our forever guy, was on the call for all of the Eastern Conference Finals16 in a redux of Hicks v Knicks, but make it 2025. He was there for every Finals game, along with so many of his former teammates and other ‘Cers of yore—dating back to the ABA days, when my Grandpa Harold was an OG season ticket holder.
He gave special love to the Malice at the Palace team through some jersey choices.
That team also happened to be coached by the legendary Rick Carlisle, now in his second time around here in Indy. You can start to understand how much it felt like the stars were finally aligning. Hell, we won the ECF on May 31 and Game 7 was the literal anniversary of the day Reggie was drafted.
That camaraderie and reverence for team history is not performative. Those guys ride hard for the Pacers and are held in the highest esteem by the organization and all of us.
THIS is Indiana basketball. Reg is here alllll the time. That man loves a bike ride on the Monon like nobody’s biz. To see him giving hugs in the hallway17 as the players came off the court after Game 7 was everything, but unsurprising to any Pacers fan.
It’s a bit hard to explain how deeply woven into the fabric of our lives and the city of Indianapolis the Pacers are. It’s part of the reason why I struggled to really talk to anyone who wasn’t a hard core fan for a few days after Game 7. I just couldn’t handle hearing anything (no matter how nice) from people who didn’t GET IT.
That may sound silly to some, but I guess my wish is for everyone to love something sooooooo much that its ending can crush you at least once in life. Not permanently, but crush no less.
I know, I know…Every team has a unique relationship with its city and their fans. However, this is where I think the “small” market of it all matters, in the best way.
Everything here is kinda normie. I love that for us.
The players are, of course, huge celebs, but they’re integrated into daily life in a way that does feel different. I’m guessing people in OKC would feel similarly. We were on the same side of that narrative!!
Tyrese lives in a neighborhood I’ve known people in my whole life. It’s super nice, but not out of touch or out of reach. One of my nephews ended up playing 2-on-2 with Obi and JJ the day before we dropped 80 on the Cavs in the first half…at Obi’s house, down the street from his little best buddy. They wandered over and got welcomed into a bday party for one of the Toppin cuties. My dad volunteers as a starter at a golf course where Obi plays pretty often and he’s always a real gem to Gary G. Andrew Nembhard, Ben Sheppard, and Bennedict Mathurin frequent my fav downtown restaurant: The Garden Table on Mass Ave, a casually chic spot owned by dear family friends/besties of my bro and sis-in-law/giant Pacers fans—as evidenced by this shot from the Game 6 broadcast. Def hit it up for breakfast/brunch/lunch if ever you’re in town.
The thing about a city like Indianapolis is we’ve never been under the impression we have the same things to offer as a massive place like NYC or LA. But that doesn’t mean we have NO things….she writes from her giant apartment, the rent for which doesn’t suck up all her money every month.
We’re not trying to be you all, by the way. I say this as someone who considers herself both a coastal elite and a proud Midwesterner. I’ve clocked plenty of time living both of those lifestyles. They are both extremely me.
I revel in good ole sports shit-talk and nothing is more fun for me than the reboot of the Hicks v. Knicks rivalry of my youth. But there was SO much out-of-pocket nonsense yapping. And boy oh boy did some people dish it out only to find they couldn’t take it.
So you’re damn right if you think I’ve always had a defensive chip on my shoulder about my hometown18. Boy did it fire up during the playoffs.
People who lack wit and creativity to cling to “there’s nothing to do in Indiana” insults like the low-hanging fruit that it is. YAWN. Oh, you think we’ve never heard that before? GTFO.
That’s like thinking you’re insulting me by saying Taylor Swift isn’t the best dancer. Um, did you think we were here for the dancing? Please.
Nobody knows this state and this city’s flaws better than, um, the people who actually live here/are from here. I have never been afraid to call them out and that’s not changing. It’s very, I can talk shit about my family, but if you do…get the fuck ready. Because you don’t know all the great things.
My friend Bonnie once asked me a million years ago if everybody from Indy was this proud and I was like, um, a lot of us are but I am generally a woman of extremes and intense protectiveness over the people, places, and things that I love.
And for the record, Indianapolis is the 16th largest city in the US—and a blue dot in a red state with a diverse population. Fuck off to the people who act like Indy isn’t a city, that there’s nary a piece of culture to be found, that only white people live here. It’s insulting and telling when you can’t come up with anything original to say. Let’s not act like MAGA hasn’t infested every single state in the union, either. We have a lot of bullshit, but we’re not alone.
See? I’m all chippy again. But when you’re in the flyovers, it can be like that. I have very close friends with no idea how geographically close this state is to New York. It’s embarrassing (for them), but true.
When your team is fighting that same disrespect—but make it basketball—on the national stage and proving everyone wrong about their assumptions? It means a whole goddamn lot.
When you get to see your city shine at what it does best—hosting big events and knowing hoops—it feels gooooooooooood and validating. I love showing Indy off. The same pride coursed through me when we got an Eras Tour weekend, which was essentially like hosting a Super Bowl. Cities bigger than ours did NOT. Just sayin’.
People come for a game or the race or Blondie and almost always leave thinking Indy and its people are not what they expected, in a cool way.
So, yeah, in these dark ass times, it was fun as hell to have a bright golden light shining through the city. Everyone dressed in gold and blue. Chatting with strangers in line for a coffee (or a DC, in my case). Walking out of any store with a “Go ‘Cers!” and hearing it echoed back. I really miss the monoculture sometimes, when everyone at least feels like they’re on the same page, culturally.
For a couple months, we were living in this a beautiful bubble of community and unity. That doesn’t mean it was utopia or that we were oblivious to issues big and small, here and elsewhere. But we were one for our team.
Even the Yes ‘Cers motto for the year felt like a nod to us, the fans. That’s inside lingo that we took outside to play this season.
It gave us all SO much pride to share our ‘Cers with the basketball world. To let them in on why we already knew how special this team was on and off the court. Why the Pacers are such a fantastic organization and an integral part of our city, whose growth since the ‘80s was quite literally built around sports.
Sure, not everyone is as much of a lunatic fan as I am, but even the least sporty of folk here are all in for the Pacers. That’s even more meaningful in 2025 when our country is divided AF and we are all much more isolated in general because of tech and algorithms.
At its best, fandom brings real human connection.
You’re texting with your fellow fan friends and fam more often, speaking the same language. You’re reconnecting. You’re remembering the nostalgic moments from seasons past, perhaps featuring loved ones who aren’t here anymore, but would have loved the shit out of this season 🥹. You’re checking in on your people because my god none of these games came easy—and they’re checking in on you. You get to see a new generation of fans come into their own, in the same way you once did.
This is my little brother with Reggie and Detlef Schrempf back in the day. I mean it when I say the Pacers are a part of so many Hoosier family memories. Now Nick has kids around that age who love the team just as much. It’s just the coolest.
To do Game 6 with that guy is a forever core memory for me.
What a gift to get to experience this run with his boys. We know I love cross-generational fandom like nothing else.
I cried pretty hard thinking of them after Ty got hurt, but I’m still so glad they inherited the fan gene. It’s gonna be a ride, but I happen to think the pain is worth it in the end. His middle (he of the Obi pickup game) told me he had to go in the other room after it happened and cried so hard he had to change his jersey. His oldest wrote the sweetest note for “#0 the Hero” that included the line, “Remember to do it for Tyrese, if you get better, he will heal faster.”
I can’t think of a better hero for him to emulate on and off the court. Same goes for Obi and TJ and Spicy P and Myles and Nemby and the Bens and the rest of the crew.
I got to host a friend from elementary school and her husband who came in for a game—and share it with one of my nearest and dearest I met more recently, but who loves the Pacers just as deeply. Happy Abby indeed!
ALWAYS GO TO THE SHOW, WHICH IS SOMETIMES A BASKETBALL GAME.
I hope we can carry this feeling with us, Indy. I’ve never experienced anything quite like what we all just lived through, but it’s a version of the high I chase going to live shows of my faves. The letdown is totally similar to post-concert depression, too.
I keep thinking of the lil doc Harry released at the end of Love On Tour and the community and the acceptance that comes when you’re all in a place for the same joyful reason. Though, Pacers games are hella harder on ye olde nervous system.
“It’s such a different atmosphere and you can feel it when you walk in. In a room full of strangers you can feel like you’re really in a family….and that doesn’t end just because the tour’s ending. That’s always going be there.”
When you know you’re A Lot™ and have been told you were too much countless times over the course of your life, fandom can be a place that feels so safe.
Everyone19 in that space or bubble (online and off) is either leading with the same kind of passionately unhinged intensity—or they’re comfortable with it, even if more reserved. There should be a sign flashing, “BIG FEELINGS WELCOME HERE.” You shout and sing and scream in unison, aligned in your goals, and looking out for each other when things are happy and when they’re sad.
To have that with your hometown, your family, your friends in 2025…it feels heaven sent.
I want to bottle up those feelings and pass them around, just as I did the ones from HSLOT or Eras. The world would be a whole lot better if more people felt these feels. This I know. I watched our city and the people in it reap the benefits.
The 2024-25 Indiana Pacers WILL be remembered.
I’ll never be able to thank them enough for what they gave to us. We were so lucky. I can’t believe they were ours.
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If you’ve made it this far into an opus nobody requested, thank you.
You all have created a space where I feel like I can be so sincerely myself, even if that means more words than you ever wanted about the Pacers playoff run or The Tortured Poets Department. It’s a real gift and my therapist and I are both v. grateful.
In true me form, I made an annotated playlist that was also a part of processing all the emotions and paying tribute to this magical team. You’ll find it listed out below—and avail on Apple Music (including songs referenced earlier in this post.) Ed Note: I might be convinced to make a Spotify version if you’re really nice. I’ll be accepting requests for songs to add, too.
To all of you who had never cheered for the Pacers before, but fell a little bit in love with them this spring/early summer or just sent victory vibes because you knew it mattered to your girl, I’ll never forget that either 💛.
Thanks for always letting me be me.
xA
PS: If you want to send a note to Hali, a man who came out of the locker room on crutches to embrace every one of his teammates after Game 7, that’d be super cool too. The Pacers set up a digital bulletin board or you can send snail mail:
Indiana Pacers - Hearts for Hali
125 S Pennsylvania St
Indianapolis, IN 46204
I can’t tell you how happy it made all of us to see him smiling and joking in posts from his awesome girlfriend, Jade. Plus, they’ve got the cutest pup to cheer him up when he needs it. He’s got a whole fandom behind him forever, too.
++++++++++++++++
Yes ‘Cers 4EVA
Long Live by Taylor Swift
No song is more perfect for all that transpired than this one. I cried again pulling the YouTube video and pasting in the lyrics below. No notes.
I said remember this moment
In the back of my mind
The time we stood with our shaking hands
The crowds in stands went wild
We were the kings and the queens
And they read off our names
The night you danced like you knew our lives
Would never be the same
You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age
Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered
I said remember this feeling
I passed the pictures around
Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines
Wishing for right now
We are the kings and the queens
You traded your baseball cap for a crown
When they gave us our trophies
And we held them up for our town
And the cynics were outraged
Screaming, "This is absurd"
'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves
In ripped up jeans got to rule the world
Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming, "Long live that look on your face"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered
Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall
Will you take a moment?
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if, God forbid, fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine
Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Singing long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered
Small Town by John Mellencamp
No, I cannot forget from where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be
Yellow by Coldplay
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
Scarlet Begonias by Grateful Dead
Wind in the willow's playin' "Tea For Two"
The sky was yellow, and the Sun was blue
Strangers stoppin' strangers, just to shake their hand
Everybody's playing in the heart of gold band, heart of gold band
This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
This is how we do it, all hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an OG mack or a wanna-be player
You see the hood's been good to me
Ever since I was a lower case G
But now I'm a big G
Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know
I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone
Can't change the weather, might not be forever
But if it's forever, it's even better
And I don't know what I'm cryin' for
I don't think I could love you more
It might not be long, but baby, I
I'll love you 'til the day that I die
Catch These Fists by Wet Leg
Can you catch a medicine ball?
Can you catch yourself when you fall?
You should be careful, do you catch my drift?
'Cause what I really wanna know is can you catch these fists?
I know all too well just what you're like
I don't want your love, I just wanna fight
Single Ladies by Beyoncé
I need no permission, did I mention?
Don't pay him any attention
Children’s Story by Slick Rick
WTHELLY by Rob49
What the Heliantte?
What the helly on?
What the helly Berry?
What the helly 'Burton?
What the helly 'Bron James?
What the helly Cyrus?
Play That Funky Music White Boy by Wild Cherry
Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
Baby, here I am, I'm the man on the scene
I can give you what you want, but you gotta come home with me
I've got some good old lovin', and I got some more in store
When I get through throwin' it on you, you got to come back for more
Boys and things that come by the dozen
That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause, Mama, I'm so hard to handle now
Everything Is AWESOME (From The LEGO Movie) by Tegan and Sara
Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When we're living our dream
We’re gonna miss you big time, big guy.
Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls
When you're feelin' sad and low
We will take you where you gotta go
Smilin', dancin', everything is free
All you need is positivity
Colours of the world
Spice up your life
Every boy and every girl
Spice up your life
People of the world
Spice up your life
Golden by Harry Styles
I can feel it take a hold
I can feel you take control
Of who I am and all I've ever known
Lovin' you's the antidote
Golden
Top That by the cast of Teen Witch
I'm king, and they know it
When I snap my fingers, everybody say show it
I'm hot, and you're not
But if you wanna hang with me, I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can give all that you can, but you will never top that
Top that, top that
You can dream until you're blue but you can never top that
Follow You, Follow Me by Genesis
With the dark
Oh, I see so very clearly now
All my fears are drifting by me so slowly now
Fading away
I can say
The night is long but you are here
Close at hand, oh, I'm better for the smile you give
You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor
If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door
You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will
We are now entering the cry it out with Taylor portion of the program which is a part of every grief journey I’ve ever had. I put the non-Long Live tracks at the end for those of you who are less interested than others lol.
Down Bad
Did you really beam me up?
In a cloud of sparkling dust
Just to do experiments on
Tell me I was the chosen one
Show me that this world is bigger than us
Then sent me back where I came from
For a moment I knew cosmic love
Now I'm down bad crying at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference."
Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it I can't have us.
I might just not get up…
I loved your hostile takeovers
Encounters closer and closer
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's -
loml
Our field of dreams engulfed in fire
Your arson's match, your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life
Illicit Affairs
And you know damn well
For you, I would ruin myself
A million little times
Hits Different
I find the artifacts, cried over a hat
Cursed the space that I needed
I trace the evidence, make it make some sense
Why the wound is still bleedin'
You were the one that I loved
Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough
A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes
This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy
Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief
In the good in the world, you once believed in me
And I felt you and I held you for a while
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
The 1
But we were something, don't you think so?
Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would've been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one
I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
If one thing had been different
Would everything be different today?
Death by a Thousand Cuts
Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
Flashbacks waking me up
I get drunk, but it's not enough
'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby
I look through the windows of this love
Even though we boarded them up
Chandelier's still flickering here
'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not
It's death by a thousand cuts
I dress to kill my time
I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right
They say, "I don't know"
And what once was ours is no one's now
I see you everywhere
The only thing we share
Is this small town
You said it was a great love
One for the ages
But if the story's over
Why am I still writing pages?
Nor am I qualified to do so. I’d have to bring in my little brother for that.
Another “fuck you, forever” to ABC for airing him on the ground so often throughout the rest of the game. It was not even remotely necessary to see the emotional and physical anguish on that sweet boy’s face 10000000 times on live television.
I don’t want to talk details about the Sliding Doors of Game 4 officiating. I just don’t. It takes me to dark places.
We lost to the Shaq/Kobe Lakers in 6.
Do we know each other? We do not. That does not stop me from lovingly referring to #0 as Ty.
My god, he was so locked in. Nailing 3s. I mean………..
You’d be surprised how many Pacers edits set to Taylor Swift there are over on the clock app. My people!!!!! I sobbed my way through them every one, including my own contribution to the sub-genre.
We’ll get into this fun new hyperfixation in an upcoming shopping post!
Eras Tour, Indy N2: “The Prophecy” x “This Love”
I am going to take the narrative arc on this one and believe that “this love is good this love is bad this love is ALIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD. These hands had to let it go free but THIS LOVE CAME BACK TO ME.” My love for the Pacers is never dead. Duh. But I think this is about when Ty gets back for the 26-27 season. Boom Baby.
Obvs I know it’s ‘cynics’ in Blondie’s song, but we were really dealing with the critics, especially loud ass Stephen A Smith during the Finals. I never watched the pre-game or halftime because of him. What a fucking loser, in general, and I cannot believe ESPN has so many millions of eggs in his basket.
Myles 🥹
Of course, as with any large group of people, there is a small, shitty section. But they are best left ignored, like the way sane Harries ignore Larries. Or as my friend Lara brilliantly calls them, Boy Band QAnon.
But did I take your use of a sample from Rob 49’s “WTHelly” as a tacit endorsement of the Pacers over OKC? Absofuckinlutely. Plus, we all know Texans don’t root for Oklahomans.
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Just for a tad bit of underage drinking at a friend’s house. No driving. No fighting. Nothing deep 😉 We just got loud outside after that masterpiece.
We did get Kylie Jenner to the Midwest, too. You’re welcome for the content, internet.
#31 wearing a throwback #17 Chris Mullin jersey. For anyone new, 17 and 31 are my favorite numbers. 31 because it’s my birthday—Halloween. Then we added the layer of the great Reggie Miller 17 because as a wee youth I loved Mark Grace, who played first base for the Cubs. Both because that was my position and also I thought he was cute. I didn’t realize until much later that I was always repping the 317, Indy’s area code. But given that I wrote a paper about numerology my sophomore year in high school and later became a hardcore Swiftie, this all tracks. ETA: OMG THIS ENDED UP BEING FOOTNOTE 17!!!!!!!!!
Listen, I have and will always defend New York City until I’m blue in the face too, but I don’t need to do that as often.
Minus any toxic corners.
* Hard to Handle is by The Black Crowes, not Counting Crows* but a lovely tribute to your Pacers, from one Midwesterner to another!
I knew if I kept scrolling long enough I’d see the bell and the pupper 💛 devastated that you had to process this sports grief but grateful to get to read something so funny and lovely