An Open Letter to the Chairman of The Tortured Poets Department
Then, a journey through all 31 tracks from this brilliant, emotional excavation of an album that turned into something else entirely. I'm sure the NYT will think I, too, need an editor. But f*ck it.
Oh, and she’s taking Friday off.
To: Taylor Swift, Chairman of The Tortured Poets Department1
From: A redhead named Abigail (Elder Fangirl Edition)
Re: The Anthology
O Chairman, My Chairman2!
I love you. It’s ruining my life. (utterly complimentary)
JK. You’re not. You never could.
Even though I think that with this album you’ve compelled me to get more personal on the internet than I ever have before…which is, in itself, fraught for me—a Scorpio who is very good at making people think they know a LOT about me, without actually letting very many into the inner sanctum. I hold my own secrets as tightly as I hold those of others in my life who have trusted me with theirs.
But when it comes to using your art to express and heal yourself in a way that might not be easy, but is actually necessary? Well, there are few people I’d rather model myself after more. Boy, did you let us IN IN with this one. Like a modern Muse, your work (and work ethic) inspires me to push past my own self-imposed creative boundaries.
There I go diving in immediately. This is also the Scorpio in me. The one who wants to get deep, STAT, and then talk until the wee hours. There’s gotta be Scorpio in your chart and I would truly love to know your entire astrological map because it must be fascinating. If you ever feel like sharing. As mentioned above, the great news is— because of what my natal chart looks like—your secrets would be totally safe.
Apparently, all my stars and signs aligned me to urge me to write a letter for this post (or part of it anyway) and so that’s how this one’s gonna go, with some poetic license taken—and a dash3 of the diaristic. Of course. That’s the Swiftian way and that style just one of the reasons you’re among my favorite writers ever.
Plus, I love going longgggggggg. I, too, have never learned to shut the fuck up. So you just talk your talk and I’ll do the same.
If somebody doesn’t want it, they can move along. It’s crazy how many people don’t understand that concept, in general, but certainly when it comes to your work.
And honestly that’s also how I do what I end up thinking is my best stuff—while simultaneously wondering who allowed me to write anything ever. The sweet torture of being this profession never ends, as you well know.
Some reading this memo will remember that below is the card I pulled when I asked my magical new tarot deck if TTPD was going to significantly change my life—spiritually, professionally, emotionally, or otherwise.
It sure does feel like one of my lessons from witnessing what you’ve done with this massive album is re-focusing on “creativity for creativity’s sake” and “indulging a curious heart that will take you on a spiritual exploration.”
Noted, Chairman. Noted.
Things get a little more insane when revisiting the three-card pull I did to represent Before, During, and After listening to your new (double) album.
The During has rattled me (in a great way) knowing now the type of man and the kinds of feelings TTPD explores. Yeah, I had one of those, too, and my life has never been the same either. I’ve often felt embarrassed by how much something that happened so long ago still has influence on my current behaviors and emotional patterns, but this album is helping me process that in new ways.
Um….
“Has an alluring person or situation reeled you in thoroughly and completely? Has your obsession caused you to lose sight of boundaries and perhaps even your own identity? Ah, the tricky Devil promises so much but often leaves you drained on the empty hope that satisfaction lies just around the bend. The Devil’s lair is laden with delights that will momentarily thrill but offer no lasting sustainment…the appearance of this Capricorn-based card should prompt you to clear your heart and head and dig deep to find true nourishment. It’s fear that keeps us grasping at empty desires. Have faith that there is a deep well of love in every heart and it is accessed by going quietly inward…”
So, yeah. That happened.
Then the After, which is part of what has lead us to today’s tome.
“You are pure potential. The Fool asks you to draw upon the spirit of youth, innocence, and wonder. This card is about starting anew and, once again, marching to the gentle beat of your heart’s desire no matter where you are in your life journey…Throw caution to the wind! Take a bold leap and have faith that you will be caught by the loving hands of the Universe. The world may call you foolish, but it takes courage to commit to the path of full soul embodiment.”
Before we get to all that, though, I wondered if you had any advice for someone about to newly (re)enter their Academia Era. You know, since you are a Department Chair and all. Because this girl is heading back to campus in the fall.
I haven’t told many people this yet, but I’m officially going to be teaching an upper-level class in the Media School at Indiana University in the fall.
One that I get to develop and create all on my own. The syllabus is my track list, if you will. It’s called “Storytelling, Pop Culture, and Media” and it’s already full, which sorta blows my mind. My first “sellout” crowd 😏4
Here’s a bit of the gist in more formal speak:
This course is designed to provide students with a strong foundation for discovering and honing their own voices in the modern (and ever-changing) media landscape. Students will be introduced to the recent history of mediums that are no longer as prominent—like print media—and their importance in shaping popular culture, while also investigating and critiquing newer platforms and less traditional subjects and methods of storytelling and expression. Students will explore content creation through a number of lenses and influences, while examining what “success” looks like in the modern landscape and how one can create an adaptable skillset to weather future industry shifts.
We haven’t had the album pressed yet—to keep that metaphor going—but we are going to cover topics in a way that I hope feels fresh and fun to students, while also staying grounded in my own IRL media/content experience, and that of lots of fun guest speakers I plan to invite in to share their wisdom.
I want the curriculum to be truly useful for the youngs in my class so they can better find their paths in the mess of the media and content worlds…in a way that feels true to themselves and their unique voices, but built on a strong foundation that won’t be easily threatened by the zigs and zags of algorithms and platforms and social media whims.
Here are just a few of the topics I plan to explore over the course of the semester:
Turning your personal passions into a platform
Adapting your voice for different mediums (while staying true to who you are and what you want to create)
How internet fandoms have and do directly influence mainstream media culture and coverage and voice
Why we must take the “unserious” seriously
What fan fiction can teach us about content and community ,
Pop culture as a way to get personal (and deep)
Lessons from print media we shouldn’t let die
How Jane Magazine was a blueprint for much internet culture
…and my fave MEDIA LITERACY and Gen Z
(You are VERY welcome to join class any time, natch. Have you been to Bloomington in the fall? Before or after your Indy shows would be a beautiful time of year for a visit. I also know some local Swifties of varying ages who would love to show you around IU. Just saying.)
I’m beyond excited and also terrified. I think that’s a great headspace to occupy, don’t you agree? I’d love your notes.
But it’s time to really drill down on your latest dissertation, The Tortured Poets Department.
Ma’am, first let me just say that you are wild for this one and I am so grateful. It’s more than I could have ever expected—and not just because you dropped 16 tracks at midnight and then said, “OH HERE ARE 15 MORE” at 2 am.
Obvs, that totals 31, a reverse 13. But also, my own birthday number, as an October 31 baby. I was in such a state that night that it took me a minute to realize we’d landed on 31. But, of course we did. I bet there’s still a vault filled with amazing tracks, too, though.
I knew we weren’t done with the 2s last week, but I really hadn’t gone so far down Clownelia Street (for once!) that I really thought we would get a double album.
Exhibit A from Thursday’s pre-release post:
Silly, Abby.
Checkmate, Tay couldn’t lose.
We really are so blessed by your indefatigable work ethic and the gifts bestowed upon us. Like, beyond. But we also lost our damn minds, as you know we are wont to do.
Left to my own devices. Definitely in crisis. This was me. Hi.
As you can see, I wasn’t alone. Thank you for never giving us peace. Truly. Musical abundance, we know her all too well.
I’ve referenced the TikTok below in the past, but it’s worth a rewatch in the post-double album world. Nikki is so good at this. See what you’ve made us do, Blondie.
(Being a Swiftie is so fun. We wouldn’t change a thing.)
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Sidebar: This YT short you dropped was such classic, old school TAS behavior with little glimpses into your actual life. I, however, need way more training/fitness and post-show body work logistics, please and thank you.
Seriously though. You’re a lunatic. (It takes one to know one.) I basically didn’t sleep all night, but like you, I maintained my dedication to a workout and made it to Pilates.
Not all heroes wear capes.
I had barely begun to process what was coming at us from the original 16 songs when that back half came in like a motherfucking wrecking ball to my heart and soul. Listening to you crack yourself open, in turn, cracked me wide open.
Basically, immediately.
Respectfully, again, I say MA’AM.
“Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.”
We have to dig it up, examine it, purge it, and then move along. For ourselves alone. But if others can take something from it, all the better.
It’s called The Tortured Poets Department, so I’ve been (duh) saying this one’s for the English majors since Grammy night.
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But it’s even more specific than that, in who it might hit the hardest. In my opinion, anyway.
Over these many years, I’ve seen so many of my own traits (both wonderful and difficult and everything in between) reflected back to me in your songwriting.
This anthology might just encompass them all in one place, in such a way that it feels curated to my own life experience. Well, more than usual, I should say. That’s one of your superpowers, using that mind to weave together your own experiences and feelings with the magic of your pen and limitless imagination in a way that feels like you ripped verses right out of our own lives—but made it sound way better.
To me, from the first listen, I thought…this is for her. Once the second album dropped, I fully believed that to be true.
But secondarily, I felt…this album isn’t going to be for everyone. I love that.
This is for the real heads, the romanticize it in our head heads, the “it’s messier inside this head than anyone would ever guess based on my outward appearance and demeanor” heads, the English majors who miss when their days were spent taking in and analyzing thousands of words with other people who wanted to do the same, the people who’ve seen and done and felt some real shit (high highs and low lows) in this life, the critical thinkers, the over-thinkers, the eldest daughter good girls who can fix anything (allegedly), but are also simmering with Big Feelings just beneath the surface at all times, the ones who have never really let go of anything, the book nerds, the precocious children who maybe didn’t grow up all the way, the people who romanticize everything inside their heads as a form of self-protection, the “don’t you tell me what to do, but I also deeply crave validation” crowd, the “no, but seriously it’s as simple as SEEING me” girlies, the ones who replay scenes and moments on loops in their heads for years, who hyperfixate on everything from feelings to people to songs to colors, the “no, no I’m fine” “I’ll just do it” “Don’t worry about me”s…
I could go on and on.
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